Hi Sean,

Thank you for taking the time to provide your support and perspective to this group.
I am new to this forum...I have many questions as I am sifting through the confusion around my marriage and my husband's sexual orientation. My husband and I have been together for 13 years, married for 7 years. We met around age 20 through mutual friends. In hindsight, our relationship had a slow start in the physical/sexual areas, but we enjoyed each other's friendship and wasn't a deal breaker at the time. I remember around 2-3 years into our relationship, I felt like we weren't having sex frequently and definitely felt a lack of intimacy. I confronted him about it at the time and he told me it was because he watches porn. I was confused and hurt by this, but we must have resolved things (or so I thought) as our relationship continued. About a year after that, I began having thoughts that be may be gay. I'm not sure entirely why I thought this at the time, but it was just little comments that he would make. I did ask him at the time, and he denied it. Again, things must have smoothed over because we continued on the "traditional" path.....married....house...child. I had a lingering feeling that something was off but didn't really reconsider the homosexuality possibility until about a year ago.
Within the past year he has made numerous comments and innuendos about men. He also tends to bring the topic of gays up in conversation when it seems out of place. About a year ago, he brought up a suggestion about an open marriage (not something I have suggested) and also said he would have a threesome with me and another guy (also not something that I have suggested). However, when I bring up this conversation we had he has brought up a number of excuses... told me it didn't happen, I remember it wrong, he was under the influence of medication (he wasn't).
So last August 2020 things seemed to be going pretty smoothly in our relationship, until I came across text messages between