OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
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* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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1 | General Discussion » Wife came out as bi or lesbian » July 19, 2021 11:11 am |
- stevo
- Replies: 7
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Hey Joe. My wife of 22 years, together 30, came out to me as gay on July12 2020. She was my everything, we have a 10 year son that means the world to us. so I know the pain ,all too well. My best advice? Be kind to yourself. Don't blame yourself for any of this.Have you told anyone close to you? Friends of family? if not, you may want to consider this,mI told my sister that day after D day and I don't know what I would have done without her. It has been a year, and I find myself getting stronger each and every day. We are still living together ,but we now give each other the space we need. Be prepared for the roller coaster, it's a bitch! But just remember, it does get better! Good luck Joe, One day at a time, one hour at a time if needed. We have been where you are now, and it sucks! But know that there are people here with a wealth of knowledge that will help you through this journey, good luck !
| Support » Do you wish? » March 27, 2021 8:28 am |
- stevo
- Replies: 28
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No. I am glad on many levels that I know the truth. I don't miss the sleepless nights feeling rejected and wondering what I was doing wrong. I am now starting to rebuild my self esteem . Lot of work to be done. Been 8 months since my Dday.
| Support » It just gets more difficult and confusing » March 20, 2021 5:41 pm |
- stevo
- Replies: 32
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Hi AuroraMoon. I found out my wife of 22 years was a lesbian last July. It is a roller coaster! One day I'm sure of what I am going to do , and the next day I'm conflicted. Stiil live in same house and are not separated, yet! So I know how you feel. Only thing I can say is that , I feel much better that I did a few months ago, and when the time comes, I'll be better prepared. But with that said, nothing about TGT is easy!
| Support » Feels like a dream » February 9, 2021 6:04 pm |
- stevo
- Replies: 23
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Yes Beijoux, I feel the same as you. I'm 51 and feels like I have to start all over again. I am feeling better, so life will happen again. Jason, my wife of 22 years dropped it on me almost 7 months ago. I was numb for about 4 months, things DO get better, it takes time. One day at a time.
| General Discussion » Where are we all from anyhow? » January 31, 2021 3:56 pm |
- stevo
- Replies: 56
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Straight Spouse party sounds great to me! NB Canada!
| Support » Having a rough day » January 30, 2021 11:28 am |
- stevo
- Replies: 37
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Hi Beijoux! I am doing OK. The big news for me, I took my wedding ring off on Dec 12th . 5 months to the day of my Dday. It was a very hard thing for me to do. When I took my vows 22 years ago, I took them very seriously, I was devoted ,honest and loving throughout our entire marriage. I think it hurt too much to leave it on as opposed to taking it off.. I feel like I have NO choice in this. I always thought I was in a no win situation. Fortunately this isn't the case. the last few months have been good to me. I am ever so slowly beginning to see my path in this. We continue to live together and actually still get along very well. Do I trust her? Not really! Do I care? Not so much anymore. She tells me that she has no desire to hook up or have an emotional relationship with another woman, at this time. That's fine dear,,,,,, at this time she says,Hmmmm! I know that eventually she will want to be her authentic self. I hope by then,I won't give a crap what she does. To be honest we do still care for each other. I am living with a good friend , not a wife. Our 9 year old son still has no idea. I still have a long way to go, I am getting there slowly.
stevo
| General Discussion » Felt like a sibling rather than a spouse » January 19, 2021 12:41 pm |
- stevo
- Replies: 17
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Oh Yes I can totally relate to this. Have known my LW for 30 years and married for 22. I always thought she wasn't very affectionate , never intitiated intimacy, holding hands ,cuddling,etc always me. But we got along so well! always laughed ,went to movies ,trips and always had a great time! I never ever questioned her sexuality, I thought that was just the way she was,,,,until July 12 2020 and the bomb was dropped. Looking back, I don't blame myself, I just took it for what I thought it was, and was content with that.Not so much anymore needless to say. We are still married and live together. I took my wedding ring off just before Xmas. We still get along well, enjoyed a campfire the other night and had a couple drinks. I will never get any better , I have to decide wether this is enough. Great friend I thought all these years and great wife . She may have been a good friend , but wasn't a good wife in retrospect. I even question the friend part at times.
| Support » Feeling of Sexual Violation » January 8, 2021 6:54 pm |
- stevo
- Replies: 31
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Hi Ahisma!. Welcome to the group. I feel your pain. I am still living with my LW 22 years married. I recently saw something that my LW texted to a friend. It stated that she felt violated ,the last few years when we had sex. I was shocked! Still trying to sort out my feelings. There is nothing easy about the mess we find ourselves in. Breath in and out and remember you did nothing wrong. Prayers sent your way.
| Support » Therapist » December 30, 2020 7:11 pm |
- stevo
- Replies: 8
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Annie Tulk. She is out of Toronto. Married 22 or 23 years and her husband came out . She is really good. MY Dday was july 12 2020. Married 22 years and together close to 30. I am in a much better place than I was 5 months ago.
| Support » hey, Inkundermyskin » December 15, 2020 6:02 pm |
- stevo
- Replies: 11
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Hi Ink. I'm 5 Months in from my Dday, married 22 years and together 29. It does get better my friend. I have hope and I'm 51! I took my wedding ring off on saturday night, it was hard but it hurt worse leaving it on. I too was an honest ,trusting loving husband. As much as this hurts, there is no turning back, to me, 10 minutes after she told me, I was like, My marriage is over, it can't be fixed. So with that out of the way on day one, I have been able to take baby steps to recover. It's hard ,but look after yourself. Prayers your way!