OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?

Support » How to cope with CD husband » October 2, 2018 9:40 am

Thanks to everyone who replied - I am overwhelmed with validation of my feelings and emotions, and research and which is empowering and ultra sad at the same time. OOHC is SPOT on about everything, almost as if you are there with me- hearing my thoughts and arguments with myself.

Initially I thought (being a liberal, open minded highly intelligent woman) I would "work" with him to see if this was something I could tolerate. But, my first and strongest feeling was he wants CD more than me. And its so true, because unfortunately he has had a relationship with CD his entire life, me only 3 yrs. And, seeing his response-- and his actions in the past few months has proved that. 

Regarding finances, we keep everything separate. He retired last year, with a large ESOP plan- and is set for the rest of HIS life. When we dated, got engaged it was all about what WE would be able to do when he retired- new home, travel, not worry about $, etc. Since we got married, its been clearly stated many times- ITS HIS MONEY TO DO WHAT HE WANTS WITH IT. And so far he has been very frugal towards anything but things for HIMSELF. He has suggested a few times he would help me $ if I want to go, but his help is deposit/1st mo rent somewhere to get me out, and perhaps a small stipend to buy things I got rid of when we married and I moved into his home. (reminds me often, the solution if I dont like his CD is to just leave his house) 

I see no option but to leave, and I am not afraid of being alone again- but I do pause to consider the effects on my daughter of a divorce, move, possible school change, etc. and want to time it to work best for her. So part of the day I focus on ways to cope, read and research, do therapy, exercise, try to find joy in the little things to muddle through- while devising a plan that will get me out with minimal trauma to my kid.  

All of this combined makes me feel like a human pressure cooker. Coming here and reading peoples stories somehow soothes me for

Support » How to cope with CD husband » October 1, 2018 10:38 pm

My story and would appreciate any feedback.

  Straight Spouse Network Open Forum
Logged in as ConfusedinTX
Crossdressing Husband who says hes straight.
« Topics

Posted by ConfusedinTX  Online!
Yesterday 9:25 am        #1
My CdH and I were both previously married to other spouses and divorced many years. We married 2016, and me and my kids moved in with him. On our 1yr anniversary, he tells me he enjoys wearing hose and heels and shows me pics. I was dumbfounded i thought it was a joke of sorts.

A few months later I find shitload of couture shoes and an online account with tons of pics of himself and then people he was following- no holds barred on those folks pages, extreme CD as I call it. I freaked out, and he deleted and purged everything. Said it was no big deal. Then an entire year of no sex or intimacy of any sort. I slept in my sons room who was now away at college for months.

Finally in july 2018 i had enough. I was gonna show HIM what a real sexy woman was. I dressed in his hose, my lingerie and heels, lit candles and woke him up as a surprise. It was going well until he asked to put on my shoes, i obliged....trying to see if i could be okay with it. The next night, he called me into the closet to show me him in hose and MY HEELs. I was mortified with first thought of youre not sexy, and ur stretching out my shoes!!!! Apparently he took my event as me being okay with his CD...and ran with it. Began buying shoes...expensive couture, about 3k in a month online. A few pairs for me too, as if again its okay for me its okay for him.

Several non fun encounters of him dressing, now with full outfit on, he has admitted he has done this since he was a child. He did it with his first wife, who was complacent with it- and allowed him someone to shop with for himself.

Says he doesnt want to meet other CDs, doesnt want men, doesnt want sex with anyone but me. But he dresses while im gone and masturbates, and has zero desire for me. Its painfully obvious he prefers

Our Stories » Crossdressing Husband who says hes straight. » September 30, 2018 10:25 am

My CdH and I were both previously married to other spouses and divorced many years. We married 2016, and me and my kids moved in with him. On our 1yr anniversary, he tells me he enjoys wearing hose and heels and shows me pics. I was dumbfounded i thought it was a joke of sorts.

A few months later I find shitload of couture shoes and an online account with tons of pics of himself and then people he was following- no holds barred on those folks pages, extreme CD as I call it. I freaked out, and he deleted and purged everything. Said it was no big deal. Then an entire year of no sex or intimacy of any sort. I slept in my sons room who was now away at college for months.

Finally in july 2018 i had enough. I was gonna show HIM what a real sexy woman was. I dressed in his hose, my lingerie and heels, lit candles and woke him up as a surprise. It was going well until he asked to put on my shoes, i obliged....trying to see if i could be okay with it. The next night, he called me into the closet to show me him in hose and MY HEELs. I was mortified with first thought of youre not sexy, and ur stretching out my shoes!!!! Apparently he took my event as me being okay with his CD...and ran with it. Began buying shoes...expensive couture, about 3k in a month online. A few pairs for me too, as if again its okay for me its okay for him.

Several non fun encounters of him dressing, now with full outfit on, he has admitted he has done this since he was a child. He did it with his first wife, who was complacent with it- and allowed him someone to shop with for himself.

Says he doesnt want to meet other CDs, doesnt want men, doesnt want sex with anyone but me. But he dresses while im gone and masturbates, and has zero desire for me. Its painfully obvious he prefers sex with HERself. He is also an alcoholic likely due to supressing this his whole life.

My younger child of 9 had never had a real dad in her life and she adores him. She has no clue of the issue between me and him,

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum