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June 15, 2016 1:23 pm  #1


Update...trying to claw my way out of the gay evil closet

Well 'm divorced but shes still living in the family home that I own now.  She has purchased a place but as not moved out yet.,,fixing it up.

So I'm essentially still in the gay closet..walking on eggshells, trying not to throw her into a rage..ie a dirty dish in MY
sink.

I've had good days and bad days..   I've cut down then  stopped the anti-depressants as I did not like what they were doing to me...weight gain, shaking.,  indifference.   With that comes the good days and the bad days as I feel more now.   I so want to move on with my life.   I try everyday to go about my life.

One thing I've done is projects/maintenance/improvements around the home..   I wish I had done this before as its been extremely therapeutic...it

a.)  Gets me away from her ..it is peacefull
b.) Gets the tasks project done
c.) Pisses her off ...as I'm making improvements on stuff that is not hers anymore.

A big thanks to the group/list..  I will get there...I am not a citizen of the gay valley.  I will not build my house in the gay valley..  I will go through the valley...

 


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

June 15, 2016 2:53 pm  #2


Re: Update...trying to claw my way out of the gay evil closet

Rob,

I like your project idea.  Projects are great for exactly the reasons you mentioned.  I'm still hoping that very soon you will post that she has moved out or that you set a deadline.

I saw in another post you typed (I'm not sure where) that you said sometimes you were lonely despite the fact that you have close family.  You are so lucky to have them and to be close to them.   I essentially have no "close" immediate family.  My parents are almost 90 and pretty much lived their whole lives feeling or showing zero emotion - they are just a different generation.  I have a sibling but with special needs - so no support there.  Other than that, when my parents pass I will be alone (which I essentially already am because they provide zero emotional support, never have).  I have cousins that I'm semi close to.  Thank God for my friends.  They were life savers when all this went down with TGT.  I always wished and prayed that I would have had a sister or brother who I could share things with or be close to.   I have "adopted" my best friend that I've known since I was 5 and she's become the sister I always wanted.  But sometimes I think about future holidays and I wonder who I will spend them with.  With no kids and aging parents, sometimes that reality hits me pretty hard.  Be so grateful for what you have!!  I know you are - I'm just saying...   Don't feel lonely.  You have a lot!  And you'll find someone that you love even more than you loved your crazy ex.

 

June 15, 2016 3:04 pm  #3


Re: Update...trying to claw my way out of the gay evil closet

Right... I have a lot to be thankful for.    Alone is ok... I dont lie cheat or swear at myself.       My siblings have been great but they do have their own lives and the evil TGT is still way out of their world...only here do people really understand.. 

Loneliness comes and goes..  still I'd rather be alone in a homeless shelter than live another day with her.

 


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
     Thread Starter
 

June 15, 2016 9:25 pm  #4


Re: Update...trying to claw my way out of the gay evil closet

Hey, Rob.  I'm so glad you found the new forum too!

I 'm sorry to hear that your XGW is STILL living in your house!  Is there an end to that coming any time soon!  I don't know how you do it now that you are divorced.  I would say you definitely need to set a deadline (says the one who has trouble doing that herself...).  You have such a generous heart, Rob.

I hope this part of your nightmare will be over soon so that you can have the peace and freedom you need to truly heal. 

You are a survivor!

 

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