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May 24, 2017 3:54 pm  #11


Re: Beginning Experience

Lake Breeze, there was plenty of crying going on, especially when people were reading their stories. The one thing a little group of us noticed was the difference in body language, the widowed people were easy to spot, they had a slightly lost and forlorn look, then there were others who seemed very downtrodden by their experience, shoulders hunched over, head bent. It was only when I was looking around I realised I was among the third group, shoulders back, head held high. Of the three demeanours visible I was relieved and a little proud to be among the ones who appeared not to have all the stuffing knocked out of them, kinda ready to take on life!


Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves
 

May 24, 2017 4:07 pm  #12


Re: Beginning Experience

Very interesting about the body language.  I would have never anticipated the differences before going to anything like that.  It makes sense that the widowed looked lost and forlorn.  I wonder if those in the other two groups were split between feeling in some way that their situations were their own faults, versus those who know well that they were not to blame for what has happened to them.  Some of us go back and forth between those notions.


"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" - Sir Walter Scott
 

May 24, 2017 5:28 pm  #13


Re: Beginning Experience

Most seemed to be there due to spousal infidelities. We had a mix of bereaved and separated/divorced in our smaller groups, some felt it would have been better to have widowed completely separated as their grief is completely different to those who've been deceived and betrayed.

That's an interesting point Lake Breeze, if those with heads bent feel any guilt over situation, I'm not sure of that, I didn't get that feel from anyone but of course that doesn't mean it wasn't there. I never thought of people's demeanour before going, it just occurred to some of us individually and when one mentioned it the rest of us said yes we'd observed the forlorn vibe to the widowed individuals too. 

Another interesting observation, obviously towards the end we gravitated towards those we naturally gelled with and it was the heads held upright together, the heads bowed beaten down together and the widowed in twos or threes. That's natural I guess, we were tired, 2.5 full on days. There's a reunion 2-3 weeks after to see how people are doing and how they feel going forward.

Last edited by Foolme (May 25, 2017 2:22 am)


Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves
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