Fool Me Twice,  Ah, yes.  The fixer.  I'm one of those.  I also had tremendous empathy for my spouse, and in the end was the one who told him, "You are gay.  You can't help who you are, so just be that. You're not happy with me, and you don't want to be married to me.  And I'm not sticking around for more of your confusion.  I'm clear about it."  It was, by far, the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I let him go.  He became angry, yet I was the first one he would lean on to tell me the next person he came out to.  I became more loving, he became more selfish.  In the end, we were allowed to be our authentic selves, and it was as it should be.  Still is.  We aren't together, and we don't hate each other.  We shared a past, and we don't share a future.  Sad, but it is what it is. 

Not sure what area of the country you are in, but therapists that specialize in a buddhist based therapy have often graduate degrees from Naropa University in Colorado.  They do have a directory of therapists online.  http://www.naropa.edu/alumni-relations/alumni-resources/alumni-therapist-directory/index.php
It's a very different approach than traditional therapy. You may find it interesting. 

I agree with vicky and JK, if you two can work through it (keeping in mind that there are TWO of you, not just her, you'll both find the way that is right for you.