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October 25, 2016 1:12 pm  #11


Re: Shouldn't we warn their new unsuspecting girlfriends?

Sherry,

Let's insert some reality here. First I will address your situation since you invited replies by posting in a public form. I am floored you think you can work on having a legitimate marriage with him. Gay men don't work on their marriages with straight women. They just regroup to perfect the secrets and lies. I have lived that ridiculous notion for 46 years and came out with more pain than you have now. You will have no sex, be desperately lonely and feel worse than you do now. You already know your in denial and being foolish or you wouldn't bring it up. Rip the bandaid off and move on ahead to find a straight man who can be an authentic partner in a marriage with you. You can't fix Gay. He was born this way. It was never a choice for him and therefore, he can't deliver or "correct" his lifestyle. Get some legitimate information on being Gay.

Secondly, you aren't the morals sheriff and don't have the right to tell anyone else anything. It's their choice and their marriage, NOT yours. If you imagine you're saving the world from disease and pain of non disclosure, you are sadly mistaken. They won't believe you and can even file something against you resulting in financial judgments against you. I am an attorney. Doing a website as you have suggested, will provide solid evidence to anyone seeking damages against you through a civil remedy.

Step back, regroup and stop thinking you're going to save the world by spreading this junk around. Concentrate on your own marriage or what I sincerely hope is a healthier way forward than to attempt a marriage with a full on Gay husband who claims he's going to change his lifestyle preferring men to you.

I love this website but it sometimes lacks a truth we all need after suffering secrets and lies that have destroyed us. This is one of those times. No more spin and or lies and NO MORE spreading the pain around. That's really irresponsible and revenge rarely works out.
Judy

Last edited by Judy (October 25, 2016 1:15 pm)

 

October 25, 2016 1:48 pm  #12


Re: Shouldn't we warn their new unsuspecting girlfriends?

I haven't put in my two cents on this topic yet. 

If my ex was going after another man for some reason, I would warn him.  But I would do so knowing that right now, he won't believe me.  I would know in advance that warning him would make both other parties angry with me.  But, I believe in being compassionate toward people, even if they don't understand that I'm telling the truth.  

Some day in the future, that new guy or gal our our ex will learn the truth.  They will then appreciate that we warned them or be angry that we didn't.  You never know..  we might even save them from making a mistake.. maybe we'll make them think just enough to tip the scales if they are already seeing some question marks. 

I think we owe it to people to do the right thing even if they don't appreciate it today. 


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

October 25, 2016 4:58 pm  #13


Re: Shouldn't we warn their new unsuspecting girlfriends?

Meg,
From where I am now  (needing no contact with my narcissistic ex);
I don't think there is anything you can do but feel sorry for whomever he is seeing.    You don't want to stir the pot or make trouble for yourself..  I know it sounds incredibly selfish and inhumane but there is really no benefit to you or the kids.  Your helping this other person possibly  but enraging your ex who will now have only you (or the kids) to take it out on.    I realize your helping to maintain his (christian) facade.    But I truly believe in not knowing what my ex is doing...I don't want to know. NO CONTACT.   Telling the girlfriend is just fraught with too many negatives and not enough positives... it is a form of contact.   NO CONTACT.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

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