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March 4, 2019 5:15 pm  #11


Re: The yearly painful reminder

I know Ff :-) I was just trying to make the point that sometimes what we want to do doesn’t always serve us and we have to be a bit brutal with ourselves for a while to push past a particular source of hurt.

 

March 5, 2019 7:22 pm  #12


Re: The yearly painful reminder

Hi Jules and Lily. I too am Australian.
I feel for you Jules. It's coming up to 4 years for me and I understand how you feel. Anniversaries are difficult, holidays and just knowing that he and the significant other are socialising with mutual friends, my grandchild etc. Obviously it's going to happen but is just hard to face sometimes.
Hang in there. You will get through it as you have in past years. I'm sure you'll have Facebook friends reaching out to you too. Look after yourself

 

March 7, 2019 3:22 pm  #13


Re: The yearly painful reminder

My spouse was never on FB (as far as I know) despite the kids & I nudging him, thinking he was missing out on a lot of connections.  I've always been a little suspicious that he was uncomfortable that something from his past would come to haunt him.  But I do have several FB friends that had uncomfortable posts, either for strong political statements I disagreed with or profanity/explicit vulgarity, whatever.  There is an option of taking them off your newsfeed which I did for quite a few (During an election cycle LOL) Then you never see what they post although they can see & remark on your posts.  You could also just "unfriend" him if it's too painful if you enjoy FB otherwise.

 

March 17, 2019 9:50 am  #14


Re: The yearly painful reminder

Staying off Facebook is actually a punishment to me. I like to catch up with my friends and family, see what they’re doing, it’s just a shame I have to see his stuff as well. I do often think about deleting Facebook, snoozing Facebook at this time and at other times, but that hurts me as well because then I lose all contact with my friends that I don’t live near. While he was at Mardi Gras he was interviewed and now that keeps coming up across my feed , It’s all about the difficulties of him coming out, and him getting HIV, and how he needs the support, it would just once been nice if they did a story about the people and the family left behind to pick up the pieces.

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