OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
1 of 1- finallyfree
- Member
Offline
Anyone in St. Louis area?
I am desperately lonely right now. I am in such a deep, emotional rut… I can’t bring myself to talk to any family or friends. They seem to act surprised or wonder why my mood is so low. I guess I didn’t realize how traumatic a divorce was until I was going through it myself. My STBX is still in the closet so with the exception of a few family members on my side, people don’t know why we are getting divorced. We are living in the same house until the divorce is final, so I spend much of my time hiding back in my bedroom. When he is gone I just sit and watch TV by myself because my kids are all teenagers now who spend all their time up in their rooms. TGT thing aside, divorce is painfully isolating. We used to have a fairly active social life. Now I don’t get invited to go anywhere anymore. The couples we used to go out with don’t invite either of us because quite frankly they don’t know who to pick. I get that I guess. Even though most of the couples were really my friends and their husbands… I guess it’s just too awkward and uncomfortable for them to invite the single, solo gal.
I emailed the contact on straight spouses website about setting me up with the facilitator or contact in my area that could inform me of support groups and/or meetings in my area. The woman’s name she gave me never got back to me… And now the original Contacts hasn’t returned my email either. I emailed the contact on straight spouses website about setting me up with the facilitator or contact in my area that could inform me of support groups and/or meetings in my area. The woman’s name she gave me never got back to me… And now the original Contact hasn’t returned my email either. If any of you were in the St. Louis area, please either comment here or PM me.
Last edited by finallyfree (March 1, 2019 6:40 pm)
- Dandelion
- Member
Offline
Re: Anyone in St. Louis area?
Finallyfree - I'm not in the area but wanted to post as I resonated with much of what you are dealing with. The loneliness of going from mom/wife/social engagements to solitude in a very short time is shocking and hard. Finding a new "identity" while dealing with grief and loss can feel overwhelming. I am a year and half out from having my life detonated and I want you to know it gets better. I learned to embrace the alone time to find who I was and heal those parts of me that were dependent on another's validation of me. It has not been easy - but now I'm free. I reframe my alone time as opportunity to : take care of business, learn something, reflect, connect with those (even virtually) who understand or support me, get creative, find the universal lesson in the pain, rest, goof off, get physical, etc. The beauty in the "lonely" is the choice to become something "more" or "different" or just embrace the "me" as perfectly imperfect as I am. Try not to compare to your old life. The new one can have equal but different blessings. Trust that this is a season and that the pain can serve a purpose and will pass. I say this with no intent to minimize what you are going through - it is excruciating!! but with hopes that it gives you strength to endure. I do hope you find local support. Regardless, know, you are not alone.
- finallyfree
- Member
Offline
Re: Anyone in St. Louis area?
Thank you so much, Dandelion. Your words definitely bring me comfort. I feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It just seems that time is so far off. I do think things will be better once the divorce is final and we’re no longer living under the same roof. It is almost unbearable at times. It does help to read other people’s stories and hear how they came out on the other side a happier person. Thank you 🌸
- •
Thread Starter