I’ve been married for 36 years and found out exactly 16 days ago that my husband cheated on me with a 30 year old stud muffin. My husband is 30 years his senior. It’s been extremely difficult because no one knows including my kids. We’re both going to counseling separately and we’ve also been together. I feel so lost. He’s been the only man I’ve ever been with and I trusted him.  How do you deal with something like this without losing your mind?  I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last 10 years so whatever skills I had in the workforce are gone. He says he doesn’t want to have a life without me and that he loves and cares for me. And that he’ll take care of me. I hate having to depend on him. Too bad that the infatuation he has with the stud muffins has destroyed everything. I asked him if he was gay and he said he didn’t know and was confused. I asked him if he had ever had thoughts of being with men and he said not until recently when he started to have fantasies. He’s been struggling with ED pretty bad and I know his self esteem has been hurt. But instead of talking to me he went with it because it felt good. How do we live a “normal” life without someone finding out?  I finally had to talk to a very close friend because I really thought I was going to lose it. Not being able to talk to anyone other than my counselor was killing me. I can’t see my counselor every day. How do you wives get involved with other men while still living with your husbands? I know that’s premature for me now but it hurts to think that I won’t be able to find someone. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life and that’s exactly how I feel even though he’s sitting right across from me.