Hello, Everyone!

Like others have said, I really appreciate all of your stories.  It’s comforting just to know we’re not alone in this.

Well, here goes.

I met my husband on Match in 2009 and he was clearly interested in women.  We dated and we married at age 34 in 2012. Now in 2018, we’re both 40 and we have a son who is 5 and a daughter who is 15mos old.  Last month, we got a babysitter for a night out and on the way to our destination, he tells me that back before we met and off and on since he’s been a teenager, he’s had “hook-ups” with men! I was speechless!! He talked about kissing the neighbor boy at age 10, asking his mom to dress him like a woman once in his teens, his first sexual encounters with guys in high school and a regular hook-up that he met for years, “just for sex” in his early 30’s.  I knew none of this before and he said, it’s because I never asked.

Then, he went on to share his fantasies of wanting to go to the swingers club together or creating a profile to meet a guy who we could have a threesome with.

Well, after a couple of weeks of pondering all of this, I told him we will not have a third party in our bedroom and I’m not interested in an open marriage.  He says he isn’t asking for an open marriage at this time and that our marriage and our life with the kids is his first priority. Okay, I was glad to hear this.

Trying not to say NO to everything, I told him if he wanted to crossdress in our house, after the kids are in bed, I’m fine with it. I’ll even help. Well, he took this and ran with it!! He bought boots, jeans, a dress, corset, bra, breast forms, wigs, makeup, everything! We even went to a makeup lesson together (a little awkward, but not bad). Oh, and he wears lacy underwear almost all time.  I was going along with it, but last weekend he decided to wear his jeans, thigh high boots and a tunic to run errands. Also, he sees nothing wrong with wearing the lacy shirt around our son. This is really hard for me. I thought it would be between us. I don’t want our children to be confused. 

I asked him to change his shirt the other night because our son was still awake and he got very angry.

Anyway, he claims to be straight because he never had feelings for a guy, he says.  He does still seem to desire me, same as always, only that sometimes he dresses like a woman.

I know that for some of you reading this, your spouses did all kinds of things behind your backs. Once mine came out to me, he’s telling me everything as he’s doing it and is hoping I’ll join in. Not sure if this is any better. It doesn’t feel better. As far as I know, he hasn’t cheated on me, but he made a separate Twitter account where he can document all of his CD and he gets vids and pics from other guys and he tells me he flirts with them.

At present, I’m still in shock and trying to process it all.  Not many people I can talk to. I’m staying in the marriage for now, at least.

Anyway, sorry so long. I look forward posting with you guys.  Just wanted to share my story here first and introduce myself.