YazPistachio, thanks for your thoughts and questions. I'm pretty sure that seeking desire somewhere outside my marriage, our relationship, would simply spell the end of that relationship. We did see a therapist together some years back, when she first came out, and since then I've had a number of therapists. But no-one at present. I'll look up the link that you sent. I do already, often, try to feel really, genuinely grateful for the good things that I DO have, that we can enjoy together. We live in a place of great natural beauty. We have nature all around us, a garden, wild deer often and close...

It is disheartening when we don't get updates or closure on the situations that people on this board are going through. I truly hope the best for everyone who has had to go through this sort of thing.

I am struggling with the thought of staying together. Right now that was what I want more then anything, probably due to the fear of an unknown future as much as how much I still love my wife. The thought of not being together tears at my heart. We are both relatively young I guess, I’m 51 she’s 38. The thought of living a non physical relationship for the rest of my life, I don’t feel I should have to deprive myself of being wanted or desired. I don’t think I could handle an open marriage. I am not wired that way. I guess in the end, separation is the only real path forward, I can’t belive I just said that. Divorce is a whole different subject, it is just so
Permanent and I’m still in the “ what if” stage in thinking.

Not sure what 2019 will bring, there just are no guarantees. my husband and I spent Christmas Eve with our Children and Grandchildren and then travelled and spent Christmas Day with his "Special Friend." Pretty odd, RIGHT? He and his friend visit about every three months and, "YES," they usually do have sexual relations although they term it as "play,' since they do not have penetration. My husband and his friend are both survivors of sexual abuses as children and are not comfortable with that part of a relationship. Brian and I have a healthy sexual relationship that works for us. Due to my many surgeries I have a lot of scar tissue and sometimes there is much pain, although He is very patient and caring. We are not above exploring and talking about what works and what doesn't.  Perhaps that is one of the reasons I feel that I cannot hold hm back from hving sexual relations with his friend. We are still very open and I ask a lot of questions. At times my insecurities get the best of me but we are still committed to our marriiage and relationship. We are fiercely protective of each other and our goal is to stay together. Perhaps I am naive in wanting to think this can continue, but I am going in to 2019 with a positive attitude and hopes that our marriage, our family can continue on!

Wow! I am really impressed that some of you have been able to maintain your relationships within MOMs. I often wish I could have done likewise. However, my GID insisted on "exploring his homosexual feelings" and suggested he do so, in our home! With 2 children, I could not have coped with the duality.
In the book, My Husband Is Gay, Carol Grever, stated that she & her husband did try to maintain a MOM.  Communication, trust, and honesty were imperative.
No advice, because my experience is very different. But I do admire you...