"It's just sex" is something others here have heard from their spouse or ex. And that is supposed to make it OK? He's risking his health and safety and also yours. You're not helping save the marriage? What's he doing to help it? Mind boggling stuff! He's admitted he's a liar and refusing to change but at least you know where you stand. You should probably quietly make your plans. Good luck with everything.

Jeez i am SO sorry.  One positive note for you is at least he has admitted he doesn't intend to change, to me that makes it Crystal clear where things would stand.

I am trying to understand my own husband he only gives me glimpses of the situation and denies anything physical ever happening but im sorry bucko, I dont believe that and i don't care. Whether he screwed 100 men, or 0 men the intention was there. I don't need or want to see the emails. He says he has stopped but how will I will ever really know.

Whether you accept him or not is not up to him. That's your own choice and he has been making choices all along your marriage that don't include you so it's unfair for him to put this back on you. We all deserve better, honesty and commitment.

I'm choosing to work on myself as I go through this and try my hardest to show love and forgiveness. Even if that means I leave, i am 7 months pregnant with 3 other small children involved so i am taking my time through this. There is no rush for me, because even if i leave, I have 0 interest in ever being with another person again. Every single serious relationship has done something like this to me, not necessarily gay sex but cheating and I am not interested in enduring that kind of pain anymore in my life when i can fill it with happiness in other ways.

Anyways, you're not alone. ❤

I don't think it's a good idea NOT to tell your kids what's going on, as long as it's age appropriate. Since yours are adults, I'd say go ahead.

Spaced,

I’m glad to hear that you are doing well.  Glad that you posted, and plan on sticking around.  Great place to vent while you go through this.  Sorry you are, but you sound strong.  The hardest thing to do, is learning to put yourself first (like he’s been doing all these years )  Learning how to make decisions for your future, etc.  okay so he can’t imagine his life without you, but can you imagine staying.  Or are you starting to think about a new life without him.  What do you want? (Besides for this all to be a bad dream).  My answer to your question, he’s full of bullshit.  Sorry that’s all I can think of saying.  Blessings honey, glad you posted.   There’s plenty of threads and stories on here for you to read.  As you do, you might start seeing a lot of stuff that echos your own life.  Welcome and hugs

Spacedout,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I dont reply to posts very often but yours actually physically upset me so I have to. I have so many curse words for this person in your life. He is being a manipulative snake. It seems you know this and good for you for moving into another room. As for the men just have different sex excuse...wtf! No shit its different, we arent idiots. But sorry, thats not an excuse. There is no excuse for what he has done. He lied, you were lead into this blindly then hit with a unexpected bomb! Now you have to "understand"? I dont think so. How about he understands what he has done, be humble and sorry and try to change? But these men just want us to accept this and allow it usually. These men use all kinds of excuses...its different, it releases stress, they were abused, its who I am ect. Well, bottom line is now you have also been abused and traumatized. You need to take care of you. If your line is drawn at no sex with other men and he is already openly saying he wont stop, then run run run!

Get in touch with a good lawyer.
Good luck to you. Take care of yourself.