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October 1, 2018 2:49 pm  #11


Re: Scared.

Mark, 
Welcome to our group.  I'm so sorry you find yourself here, but I know we can help you through this struggle you face. 

I can put myself in your shoes.  I joined here two years ago facing the same fears.  It was awful being in limbo not knowing if I could save my marriage.  All of those storm clouds of fear and doubt regarding finances and family destruction and living arrangements and parenting and everything else were paralyzing.  I remember it all too well.   They are just storm clouds though..  What you can't see is the good stuff that lies on the other side.  Just remember that there is a happy future and you will get there..  you just have to endure this storm. 

Keep posting and sharing and let us know how we can help. 

If you are near any of these major cities, please consider signing up for a face-to-face meeting group.  Having other real people near you to help out is a huge benefit.  http://www.straightspouse.org/face2face-support-groups/


 


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

October 13, 2018 10:13 pm  #12


Re: Scared.

OutofHisCloset wrote:

About the "she asks me to do things":  It's not your responsibility to make her feel better by colluding with her to make it appear to others as if you're a normal couple and all's hunky-dory at home; it's not your obligation to let her off the hook for her guilt.  Choices come with consequences, however much we might like to evade them or make them go away.  The consequence for her choice to come out as a lesbian is that she no longer gets to benefit from your care; she gave up that right.  And whether or not it's deliberate, her inability to understand that and to own her choice is jerking you around, because you are still at some level hoping all this can go away. 

 
I couldn’t agree more!!

 

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