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1 of 1- greyhound gal
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Feeling very low.
I'm sick of this whole rollercoaster of emotions. I've been really angry this past week with him because he's refused to help out with the solicitors bill and thought I was getting past that.
But this morning, totally without warning I've woken up feeling utterly lost and despondent. Its so bad I don't actually know how I am going to get through a whole day at school. We've got a trip today too and that's stressful in itself.
I am fighting this overwhelming urge to run away.
I know I am really really tired-its only 9 days till the end of term. I also met my class for next year yesterday which sort of brought it all home. I will be full time after the summer and this was not how life was meant to be for me.
I thought I had left all that behind me- we had our retirement all planned out. I was going to work a day or two a week and we would have road trips and do nice stuff.
Maybe that's it- the reality is just sinking in? Also, you are not meant to change things in your life during really stressful times and I've had to take on a new job which has been really tough.
Moan over xx
Last edited by greyhound gal (June 20, 2018 1:50 am)
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: Feeling very low.
GG,
It's ok. You're allowed to moan and feel bad. You're allowed to be unhappy and upset that the life you had planned out for yourself, and that you had every reason to believe was to be yours, has been taken from you. I think that's the rub: it's not that we were building castles in the air, we were actively and for many years working for a future and retirement with spouses who allowed us to go on planning as if the basis for our plans was all accurate. And then, swoosh!, in one fell swoop we see that we'd been building and living in a house of cards without knowing that. Why wouldn't we be upset? Why wouldn't we get angry, both with the person who'd deceived us (and now acts like an arsehole over the divorce details), and with the whole situation in general (the universe, for dealing us this hand!)? Why wouldn't we be sad knowing that instead of easing up on work we're going to have to double down?
You're probably at the end of your day now, and I hope you got through it ok.
- jacki
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Re: Feeling very low.
GG,
Yes, you have every right to be mad, to moan, groan, yell. IT SUCKS, there is no way around it. I had an ok day today until I saw my stbx and I felt like I would pass out...SOOOO many emotions! Anger and tears all at the same time.
Tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow will be better. xo
- Rob
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Re: Feeling very low.
I just wanted to offer the viewpoint that you may not be retired and taking trips and enjoying this or that.
But you will be free of a person that covertly lies and hurts you...and that is worth many a penny....
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- greyhound gal
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Re: Feeling very low.
Hi. Yes, Wondering, I'm totally run down but then so is every other teacher I know. A day and half to go thank goodness. Today was really tough. Kids are high as kites and staff exhausted. And emails from the bank in between times. Probably have tried to do too much about sorting my finances and stuff but I just want to be free of him asap.
Rob, I agree. It will be worth it to live my life the way I want even if this stage is hard going.
Tonight its TV and an early night!
- •
Thread Starter- Kathyd
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Re: Feeling very low.
HI greyhound mom. When you're tired the misery doubles and everything is negative. I'm glad you're doing an early night and hope you feel better tomorrow. Teaching is exhausting. Maybe it will be helpful to keep your mind busy with more hours though, thinking positively. Less time to think about a stable future you may had. But with that DECEITFUL, LYING FUCK?? The more you're out doing your own thing you'll be more apt to meet someone and be over the moon happy someday. It's the painful in-between time that sucks. Get yourself feeling better and rested first, breathe, then continue your mission to kick the bastard to the curb. I have faith in you Greyhound! You're going to come out way ahead in this and he'll be eating the dogshit! We're all in this awful mess with you. I wish we could stop this ride and just get off. We didn't buy the fucking tickets for this one.
Last edited by Kathyd (June 27, 2018 10:45 pm)
WTF