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April 22, 2018 1:18 pm  #21


Re: Random Graffiti

I have come to think of bisexual as meaning a person who is gay, i.e. attracted to the same sex but looking for an opposite sex partner. 

And the Kinsey scale strikes me as yet another way to refute the reality of a straight.  I have never once in my entire life not even for a nano second been sexually attracted to a female.  and I can't imagine it happening.  I believe this is normal.

Friction is what it is.  Say I was asleep and it was dark and a woman came up from behind - I have no difficulty in imagining I could have an orgasm but I would be dreaming about a man.

If sexual attraction is the engine room of romantic love then monogamy is the kitchen.  

Sadly I think most of the good men get taken up by the female bisexuals. 

 

April 22, 2018 5:43 pm  #22


Re: Random Graffiti

Hi Lily,
I should have been clearer regarding my SSA statement. I'm with you on the attraction scale:
Zero for women.
The attraction I was referring to comes in many forms. Not just sexual. We as humans are attracted to people for a varity of reasons; wit, wisdom, power, love they show others...even their looks may draw us in a way that is nonsexual but can be mysteriously alluring somehow; (e.g that 90 year old woman with the beautiful blue eyes full of stories you'd love to hear.)
As for sexual; It is possible for a sexual attraction to occur amoung very young children playing (doctor) i.e touching each other out of curiosity. It doesn't mean they end up gay and most don't but while their minds are developing so are sexual curiosities of the body part of the other person rather than the actual person.

However and unfortunately, I notice a lot of people using this as an excuse for disgusting adult behaviour.. "I've known I was Bi since age three". BS! No one knows what they are at three.

Anyway, I've also been in very uncomfortable situations where this so called 'play' was carrried on throughout life and dismissed as harmless fun and the norm. One year at summer camp brings on a gag reflex as I recall two girls in my cabin that decided to rehearse kissing with each other as practice for a boy. I and most of the other girls were grossed out. I left the room and gave a moral speech to the girls that followed me out. A couple of the girls admitted it was kind of sexy and may have joined in. I don't know for sure as I asked to change cabins and was seen as a prude before I'd develop boobs.
Fast forward to college dorms...drug parties...
I stayed the so called 'prude' and have no reason prove to anyone or 'experience' with something I have no desire for and that actually disgust me. 
Yep I'm a prude alright...(according to the morally bankrupted souls that forgot what it's really all about.)
According to the normal straight males in my past. As one said, 'he found Nirvana' 
The best way to F up your sex life is to F up the natural god given flow and go against the grain of the normal chemistry of the opposite sex. 
Yeah I get the fact that some are born that way but I call most of it BS and too many stupid ass men that injected themselves with some crack like taboo that's doomed them.

F' them. Nirvana has left them and shall never return. Save ourselves and paradise for the deserving ones.
That is if there are any left. Once I learn a guy has in the past or desires to be with other men then I'm history. 
If it's the end of the world for my 'partnered' sex life then so be it. I'd rather go without and name my middle finger 'Nirvana'
 


Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face. 
 

April 22, 2018 5:57 pm  #23


Re: Random Graffiti

Scrupulous wrote:

.... I'd rather go without and name my middle finger 'Nirvana'.....

Yes!

Last edited by Ellexoh (April 22, 2018 5:58 pm)


KIA KAHA                       
 

April 24, 2018 3:33 pm  #24


Re: Random Graffiti

Hi Scrupulous,

I had the girls kissing in the dorm thing.  I didn't feel grossed out, it just wasn't for me.  I don't feel grossed out by gay people, they can have as much sex as they like and it doesn't bother me.  But I was increasingly bothered by my ex touching me even before I knew he was gay.  It was in my gut.

Once I found out he was gay the dam broke and I was overwhelmed with disgust.  for three weeks the only way I got through the day was to have hour long showers.  I would just stand there with the water falling on my head and running over my skin and that was just enough so i could breathe.  At one point I remember getting out of the shower and drying off I was going for the verandah edge because I felt like I was going to vomit but then I started crying instead.  And things got better from there.

Eventually I got back to normal but all I have to do is think about my ex and I feel so grossed out, he looks worse in retrospect, not better.  Sometimes it's reading our stories here - the disgusting way these closeted heroes treat their spouse, their lack of regard.  so no I don't suppose I will live along enough to get over TGT.  But I am grateful to myself, even at the toughest moments that I am no longer living with the ex.

I stayed way too long in that marriage.  When he felt he didn't have to charm me into staying any more it got a lot worse.  Then I started putting a little signature on every garden pot I made - a worm in the act of turning.  It made me smile.  

I turned the tables on him eventually.  

I hadn't known about Freud and Jung being gay.  I think that rather corroborates my feel that modern psychology is expecting us to be a certain way we just aren't.  My ex really did feel special.  He felt like he was a special person the way he felt, the way he could be.  Well sure.  I have no wish to stop bisexuals being who they are, I like the company of gay people, but please, don't expect it of me.  I like being me.

Last edited by lily (April 24, 2018 3:35 pm)

 

April 24, 2018 5:27 pm  #25


Re: Random Graffiti

Funny how we get that creepy feeling even before we know the story. I wasn't with my X long enough to get an answer but I saw enough to know the truth. He'll take his secret to the grave and will never admit to anything. Lily I'm sorry you spent so many wasted years living their lie. It's so unfair to anyone to have your life practically stolen from you. It's strange...I've been with cheaters in general but somehow this is more damaging than anything I've experienced. It feels like soul rape in addition to regular. I don't know if I'll ever get over TGT either. I do know I want to be as educated as possible so I'll see the signs and immediately run rather than wait. 
I try to understand where they are coming from; hoping that with the right female they'll change but deep down I truly believe men like my X get off on deceit. He's had 30 years to practice from his last marriage so I imagine he's got it down quite well and maybe doesn't know any better and will just repeat the pattern.=
*Marry a damaged one.
*Convince her that you were/will be the best caring, finaicially and emotionally supportive husband.
*Attempt to have sex with a limp noodle and convince her you are satisfied each time with out ejaculation..   (but when you do, come up with more reasons you can't look her in the eye as you think about men)
*Turn every outing into a lookout for a male hookup so you can maintain your secret life.
*LIE over and over again.
*Gaslight the woman so she'll think she's crazy but make sure your there to save her and get her help.
*Repeat with other women when the last figures you out.

It's putrid. I'm more grossed out by him as time goes on. 
This has nothing to do with homophobia..I have many gay friends and will continue but I lose all respect for closet cases that drag others in or put others in danger. Wether closet gay/bi it doesn't matter...stay away from me romantically. Like I said. I'd rather be alone thank you.


Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face. 
 

April 25, 2018 1:30 am  #26


Re: Random Graffiti

Wondering89 wrote:

Personally I don’t care if your gay or a tranny... just don’t hurt people...

I question my hole life now.... how can a gay man be attracted to a woman and chase her and be romantic.
I don’t get how they have sex... how they can build a life with someone they arent attracted to romantically.

It’s weird for me thinking about all these things..

This is exactly how I feel.
 

 

April 25, 2018 3:40 pm  #27


Re: Random Graffiti

I think the bottom line is that whether we are children or adults, we ALL want to be nurtured, cared for, appreciated, loved, and have our love accepted.
  I often ask myself if the gender of the person who gives & accepts love is the same or different, matters.  I mean, does gender matter, so long as one is loved?
  I know I was at my very best when I felt loved by AJ.  And then, after almost 18 years, he tells me I was not (good) enough for him; that he wants to chase a dream. It has taken him another 18 years to find a man he thinks will satisfy him. 
   It really hurts to be told that for 18 years, he wasn't satisfied with "the bird in his hand".  I believed our love helped create 2 beautiful human beings. We did have sexual intimacy.  I know he had erections, ejaculations, and even orgasms; but if he was truly homosexual, how could they happen? 
   I also do not understand.... 
 

 

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