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1 - Tyurk
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Trauma Therapist
I saw a therapist who specializes in trauma. She is a straight woman like myself. It felt really good to talk to a professional. She is helping me forgive myself for my behaivor as it is a normal response to what I have been through. Gave me support to keep moving forward in my divorce. I have to put myself first then my children. In that order she said. Facts are: this is tearing me apart. Causing me to act in ways that are unpleasing to myself, causing shame and guilt. I have turned myself inside out to please him and meet his needs, but he has not held up his end of the bargain. Ive been lied to for years. Given a false sense of security. He has asked way to much of me without producing any real change in return. And now, I am so mentally torn apart I have to extract myself from this marriage. And my God does it feel good to finally say:
HIS BISEXUALITY AND PORN ADDICTION IS NO LONGER MY PROBLEM!
At least in the sense of him being my partner. He is still the father of my children and im praying his sexual issues dont affect them any more. Im feeling a huge sense of relief. A weight is off my shoulders.
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: Trauma Therapist
Tyurk,
That is great to hear! I'm glad you're feeling freer and stronger and more yourself! To have your feelings validated and to begin to see beyond the craziness is so empowering.
Thank you for posting this today, because I really needed to hear what you said, not just the words, but the excitement and strength behind them. I need to remind myself that my stbx, like yours, "asked way too much of me," and that although "I have turned myself inside out to please him and meet his needs," there was never any reciprocity, only escalating demands.
- Tyurk
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Re: Trauma Therapist
OutofHisCloset wrote:
Tyurk,
That is great to hear! I'm glad you're feeling freer and stronger and more yourself! To have your feelings validated and to begin to see beyond the craziness is so empowering.
Thank you for posting this today, because I really needed to hear what you said, not just the words, but the excitement and strength behind them. I need to remind myself that my stbx, like yours, "asked way too much of me," and that although "I have turned myself inside out to please him and meet his needs," there was never any reciprocity, only escalating demands.
OOHC,
Im glad it spoke to you today. I love having this place to support eachother. Stay strong and continue to put yourself first! We have a bright future ahead of us.
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Thread Starter- Tyurk
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Re: Trauma Therapist
Tyurk,
Your trauma therapist sounds so good. You have someone in your corner now and after only one visit has given you a lot of clarity and optimism. I completely agree with what OOHC said about how helpful it is "to hear what you said, not just the words, but the excitement and strength behind them".
Lynne,
Yes I am thankful I reached out to a therapist. Its so validating. You have all seen my emotional roller coaster on here. I am finally getting to acceptance. The denial and anger stages are the worst. I know I still have so much to work through but making the decision and knowing its final this time is so freeing. I feel more peace already. Im dont want to be angry all the time. I want to be happy.
Last edited by Tyurk (March 18, 2018 1:28 pm)
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Thread Starter- Dee
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Re: Trauma Therapist
I’m so happy that you have found someone to help you! It’s such a domino effect, the better you feel about yourself, the more steps you feel confident in taking, the more optimistic you become. Pretty soon your steps turn into running!
Hugs!
- Duped
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Re: Trauma Therapist
I’m so glad to see your breakthrough post Tyurk, and that your therapist is supportive, sensible, frank and effective. You certainly do have to take care of yourself first, rebuild yourself.
- Kel
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Re: Trauma Therapist
Tyruk,
Good for you! I'm glad you've got someone that can personally coach you along in your journey! I'm proud of you!
Kel
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
- Tyurk
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Re: Trauma Therapist
Thank you all so much for the support. Still staying strong here. Im so glad I found a good therapist.
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Thread Starter- cindys
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Re: Trauma Therapist
Tyurk, you sound strong and confident. Good for you. I just recently scheduled a session with a Trauma Coach/Therapist, in fact, she was recommended on this site. Is your Therapist in Cincinnati area?