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1 of 1- blah
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Looking for Help! Pattern of Closet Gay Boyfriends and Friends
Hi! Looking for help! I have had many relationships with gay men who I thought knew they were gay but then they try to take the relationship further and are stunned I don't want to be intimate with them and only see them as a friend and ones that I end up dating (well this was one person) who then sort of admitted he wasn't into men now in life but might be later in life when I asked him if he was into men. How do I stop this??? What is happening??? I do tend to get lonely so maybe that's part of it? I am a straight female and have had straight relationships (fallen in love) but have realized a pattern of when I'm not in a relationship I befriend gay men who truth be told arent publicly gay though I believe they know they are gay (not out yet though I am very intuitive and there is a pattern of these men all telling me about gay men being attracted to them and them having issues finding women who will have sex with them). Do I stop talking to these men? It's as though I am giving them a female to talk to when other females arent interested in talking to them. I desperately want this to stop but dont know what to do! Help! Thank you!
- lily
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Re: Looking for Help! Pattern of Closet Gay Boyfriends and Friends
hi blah,
at first I am scratching my head, what is the problem, then I realise you are feeling devalued by the interchange? you think they want to be friends but actually they don't. They are gay in denial men looking for a woman who will not see they are gay - I didn't know my ex was gay and really that was my attraction for him.
talk with them as much as you like, just don't expect much of a friendship to form.
ah, I just reread your post - yes I remember back as a teenager I'd have first one and then another type of boyfriend alternatively, and I was puzzled and wondering what the differences were and looking back now i can see one was a sexual attraction - straight and the second was more a nice friendly feeling. So I'm going to hazard a guess that they were the gay in denials - maybe they come round to try their luck on the back of a breakup in your vulnerable state. and maybe you are looking for a bit of safe male companionship while you get over whatever happened with the last boyfriend.
Last edited by lily (February 26, 2018 7:23 pm)
- Scrupulous
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Re: Looking for Help! Pattern of Closet Gay Boyfriends and Friends
You sound like you are hanging with a bunch of young 'Gays in denial' .
Sean is really the one to ask this question and can explain it more. I suggest you copy and paste your post over to 'Is he/she gay...A gay ex-husband answers your questions.' forum.
I truly feel for you. I'm starting to wonder if thats all I attract or maybe every man I meet is a closet case.
:-/ SMH
Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face.