Okay...so it isn't what you think, not by a long shot.  I always have people with me...my kids, their friends, my friends, my extended family...so, I am seldom alone.  The idea of solitude fills me with anxiety.  Even dropping my daughter off for her class on Monday night and heading to the gym, I'll exercise but I am always consumed with worry.  Stupid thoughts, they race through my mind.  I've been in therapy and it has been helping me in this battle.

I think the secret is to look at the worry as a negative force that is trying to rob me of my quality of life.  I aim to do, go and enjoy anyway.

Yesterday, I decided I was going to seize the day....all by myself.  I went to the gym and even stopped for lunch.  "Table for one," I said proudly.

I learned that I am rather good company.  There is no complaining about the music I'm listening to in the car, I can order what I want, read uninterrupted and just simply chill.  I did not carry anyone else's problems, was not expected to "save the day" last minute by running homework to school.  In fact, I turned off my phone.  It was quite empowering.

Honestly, I think everyone here will be okay.  Trust yourself first....baby steps, build confidence and take each challenge as an opportunity to grow.

I'm thinking about what I should plan for my next jaunt.  Return to school?  Find a new career?  Learn to sail?

TGT is just crumbs in the scheme of life's cake and you know what?   I'm ready for a very large piece now minus the anxiety tainted frosting!