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Sun Jan 28 6:35 pm  #1


The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together...

...is the knowledge it could all be for nothing. Self-doubt
...that 'damp towel' feeling that is my constant companion, the view of those who have already stood where I stand today...the ones who have come out the other side, alone. All these emotions, the stories I read, my day to day battle with what I know, what I wish for, what I dread, the mask I let slip when I'm alone...it's got to make me stronger or destroy me in the process right?
Just my thoughts today, a moment of weakness in a lonely corner of the space I'm in.

Tomorrow I'll be stronger ✊


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Mon Jan 29 1:14 pm  #2


Re: The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together...

Oh sweetie, please hang in there.  There's no easy out, just try taking it one day at a time.

 

Mon Jan 29 8:22 pm  #3


Re: The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together...

walkbymyself wrote:

Oh sweetie, please hang in there.  There's no easy out, just try taking it one day at a time.

I know this is not going to be easy....one day at a time IS all I can do. But this is so cruel. We're both unhappy, 
both want to stay together....I don't trust him, he doesn't fully understand why....I can feel myself edging towards 
....something....recognition of the person I don't want to be, and gathering strength for what comes next.


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Sat Feb 3 8:47 pm  #4


Re: The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together...

Today feels like my day to be slowly crumbling.

 

Sat Feb 3 11:22 pm  #5


Re: The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together...

walkbymyself wrote:

Today feels like my day to be slowly crumbling.

 

Omg.....I've been to the beach and have just seen this. The 'crumbling' days can get pretty tough...
especially when something totally random sets me off, and I'm not strong enough to be together enough 
to see/feel/know it's happening. Often...I just have to get through it...knowing I've got to be strong because I'm 
doing this for the most part....by myself

Take yourself somewhere you can be by yourself.....or 
Go to a place where there are people, and noise,  to take your mind off the thoughts in your head.

Hugs
 


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Wed Feb 7 3:19 pm  #6


Re: The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together...

I battle these demons every day, the 'what-if's' and the 'what do I do now's'. These feelings never go away, they are on my mind 24/7. You would think after a year of finding out about his "bisexuality" I would know what to do. I know all our stories are different but yet they are the same. I don't want to be a broken person anymore. 


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
 
 

Wed Feb 7 4:36 pm  #7


Re: The hardest part of wanting to keep my r'ship together...

Roo wrote:

I battle these demons every day, the 'what-if's' and the 'what do I do now's'. These feelings never go away, they are on my mind 24/7. You would think after a year of finding out about his "bisexuality" I would know what to do. I know all our stories are different but yet they are the same. I don't want to be a broken person anymore. 

Fact is Roo....we're broken and will never be the same. We still deserve to BE whole, but now the ball is in our court, so to speak, and the strength is ours to find..within ourselves.
We've had the very base of all we believed to be true...
snatched from us like a bad magician pulling the cloth from under our table set with the crockery of our life, and 
it's all broken, in pieces, on the floor. 
So....on the floor amidst those broken pieces is where we must start. And it's us, you, me....who get to choose 
exactly what pieces we value enough to keep, to mend, to live with broken. To discard.

We can do it. I never thought, at 59, I'd be in this place, and every day that goes past brings me closer to 
the answer xx



 


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