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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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    January 15, 2018 11:06 pm  #1

    Piper55
    Member

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    Porn found

    I've been asking for God to give me a sign. I found porn photos (only two) on his phone in deleted pics.
    He is telling me I'm nuts and that he's going to tell all his friends and family everything I accused him of.
    Said I'm crazy and he'll show them my messages where I finally, after 12 years of this shit, accuse him
    outright. I've been denying to myself, after having heard 12 years of rumors from people that he's gay. Rumors
    don't just come out of thin air, right? Now, he's saying he is a great man who is faithful and would be "proud to admit" to all if he were gay. Screw this. He closes his eyes tightly every time (not often) there is a sexual encounter.
    He gets "soft" during missionary. God help.

     

     

    January 16, 2018 10:45 am  #2

    phoenix
    Administrator

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    Re: Porn found

    If you had husband who loved you more than he loved himself would he threaten to spread rumors to his friends?   Would he call you "nuts"?   These are not the actions of a loving husband.  Whether he is gay or not he will never admit if he's not ready.  But he is proving his worth in how he treats you.  He is playing games to protect himself rather than trying to love you. 


     

    -Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

     
     

    January 16, 2018 12:00 pm  #3

    Kel
    Member

    Offline


    Re: Porn found

    Totally agree with Phoenix - these are not the actions of someone who loves you and wants to protect you from harm.  He is literally turning the whole thing around - "Oh, you found something (along with other semethings in the past) that lead you to believe X about me?  How horrible that you'd believe evidence over anything I tell you!  You have no trust!  I'm telling people you don't trust me and what you've accused me of!".  Trust me when I say that if he DID tell people, it wouldn't start off with "She found gay porn on my phone....".  It'd just be "She is accusing me of cheating on her.  I would NEVER do such a thing.  I'm a great, faithful husband!"  He would make it look like your accusations are baseless.

    Personally, I'd call his bluff.  But that's because I don't take well to threats.  "Go right ahead and tell everyone that I think you're gay.  Then I'll tell them why I think that.  Go right ahead.  Wait, let me start it off for you.  I'll just send out a group blast starting with "Found more deleted gay porn", followed by examples of people having told me repeatedly over the years about you being gay, etc.  Did you want to help me word it?"  Hah.  Watch his head start freaking spinning.

    Kel
     

    You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
     

    January 16, 2018 12:31 pm  #4

    walkbymyself
    Member

    Offline


    Re: Porn found

    Call his bluff.  Let him tell the world how suspicious you are, since you found gay porn on his phone.  I could sell tickets to this.

     

     

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