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January 4, 2018 3:19 am  #21


Re: She keeps hurting me

Hi Count,

I started a reply a few days ago and didn't finish it so starting again - I don't believe her that she was so lost for so many years and so on, I don't believe that stuff.  

The fun person is a mirage - the way she wanted to present herself makes an image and then you fill in the details.  You're the fun-loving person.

I do not love my ex, not one little skerrick.  He is not the nice man people think he is.  He never was.  And he never will be.

The emotional rollercoaster gets less intense after a while.  It is good to recognise all the feelings even the yearning, it is all part of reclaiming yourself.  She is the mother of your children but she is not your lover.  And that's what is being addressed now.

Hope that makes sense.  all the best, Lily

 

 

January 4, 2018 11:18 am  #22


Re: She keeps hurting me

Yes!

Doing a bit better.  We have the kids off and on at the house and almost 0 overlap time. It does all make sense.  For sure it does.  If she had this crush on a woman in 2003 well then there you go!!!!   My new thought is to get healthier and smarter.  Part of the reason she wanted to leave our small town was the fun image she had created for herself.   It all makes a lot of sense.

My parents are taking it badly.  My mom sums it up.  Sad.   

Lots of family here, and lots of good professional advice.   Our first house needs to sell and then the ball starts to roll from there.  Tricked and hurt.   I will not lie down.  Nope. 40 years old in a month and going to do the best I can.

     Thread Starter
 

January 4, 2018 2:58 pm  #23


Re: She keeps hurting me

yes, that's good.  I know it's not easy to see your parents upset but it's also good - good for them!  And good that you have the professional support as you don't want to be tricked financially.  I let my ex get away with stuff even knowing about it because I wanted it over and I didn't want to give him any chance of saying I was unfair to him but guess what, he has been saying that anyway and would have whatever I did.

Wishing you all the very best of luck in your future - somehow I get the feeling it will come your way.

 

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