I am assuming this is all normal.  She doesn't want me telling anyone essentially.  Especially friends from our town we just moved from.  Is going to say that we are separating and that we are both sad.  Wants us together to tell the kids soon.  I don't think I can do that with her to be honest.  Breaks my heart.  She is light years a head in all of this.  Says she is dealing with it all, and is not telling any of her other friends or co workers for maybe a year or 2.  She works in a very open workplace with several gay people.  I think my wife has been unattached from me for years now.  Was trying to find herself in music, and writing and longer hours at work and so on.  Then this young girl she met opened old or suppressed feelings.   

I have told her to stop texting me about her situation and problems.  That I am no longer a husband to lean on.   That being said I am taking the high road and not bashing her or being mean.  I have 0 problems with gay people.  I have a problem with her letting it go this far and making me look like a fool for trying this year. 

I feel better after telling my family.  It all starts rolling from here.  I have more support now.  Some money behind me if need be too.  Lucky.  I am being as amicable as I can be so she doesn't destroy me anymore.  And truthfully she is a really good mother.  Not lying.  I am attached to her through my children.  I keep saying all will be better soon.  And that soon is beginning now.