OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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1 of 1- DoonesburyFan
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Five days ago
Last week, my partner of 13 years came out to herself, and to me, as gay.
We love each other deeply and want to move forward together as a loving couple and redefine our relationship in the light of this massive change.
This news was shocking for both of us, and I really thought it might mean not only the end of this relationship, but of me. Today (so far, it's still early) is the first day I haven't been hit with huge sobbing outbursts. I have never cried so much in my life as I have this week.
We start couples therapy this week with a queer-positive counsellor and are each going to see therapists on our own (I have a other issues to work through and had already reached out to a therapist with whom I start in a couple of weeks -- this, of course, will change plans with that therapist).
I need to hear from people who've been where I am -- any positive insights or advice about other steps I can take to make this easier are welcome.
Peace.
Last edited by DoonesburyFan (November 6, 2017 5:33 pm)
Peace.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: Five days ago
Hiya Doone 
This Forum is a good place to start. Until I needed the information this forum gives....I was unaware straight spouses
have few places of support or recognition OR acknowledgement anywhere....in the world
Ellexoh
KIA KAHA
- Duped
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Re: Five days ago
Hi Doone,I'm sorry you find yourself here. There are a few guys here in your position, they will be along to help you out once they catch up, with the posts. I hope you find some support here.
- Daryl
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Re: Five days ago
I wish I had some positive advice and steps for you but I do not. I would say be totally honest with each other and with yourself, especially during the therapy. Be realistic. Most of all be happy.
I'll be honest, there are few examples here, that I know of, among our regular posters, of people who were able to stay together as a couple for the long haul. Now that doesn't mean it's impossible, there are some Mixed-Orientation Marriage groups out there, one is a Yahoo Group, I'm not sure about the other one. I do understand the desire to try to make it work, just don't sacrifice in an uneven manner. Good luck and let us know if we can help in any way. I will say that you are assured to get honest opinions here.
“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer