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Mon Oct 2 5:42 am  #21

Re: I am taking some time for me

Majnco, Allison, Paula,

I just wanted to say that yeah. I was married for decades.. I knew my ex  (or thought I knew) her over half my lifetime.  Our marriage was not an unhappy one.     It is hard to process grieve ..because they are not dead  but they are not the person we knew.   They try to re-write the past but we had many happy times and it was real..  They are not Gods or Dr Who...they cannot re-write time .

As exaggerated as it sounds , in my case,  she is like a demon or ghost of the person I knew; still  very much alive but really a mean enemy now.   Not dead  but something I fear as she still capable of so much
hurt via the kids.

I'm away from her now  and  to help process and deal with her  I try to not think of her as a crazy monster I keep in the basement  but a past enemy that I must,  for the kids sake,  maintain some contact with.    But  
I can find a use for even my enemies..she can watch my kids half the time and take them shopping (shes good at that)..    Really I need to have some use for her  or she may as well be dead...  but she is not.  

I grieved  and  still can always grieve the person she was.    My grief is as strong and fierce as my love was..  we remain authentic, empathetic, honest people.    And that is what distinguishes us from them..
Our love and word is good ...their's is not..   Their love  can change with the weather or wind while our's is capable of lasting to eternity.      Its a scary thing and I thank God everyday to away from such a person .

Wishing you all well on your journeys out of and beyond the (gay) valley.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7

Mon Oct 2 8:46 am  #22

Re: I am taking some time for me

Rob, Allison and Paula,
There you have it.  As we have all expressed, our pain laid bare.  The betrayal of absolute trust is a torturous pain that turns your mind in onitself if you allow it. 
Paula, I hope that someday we find a person worthy of that trust like your friend did so that even in death we find comfort from it.

Last edited by majenco (Mon Oct 2 8:47 am)

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