OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



November 4, 2017 10:01 pm  #1


Next Steps

Has anyone who is no longer with their gay/in the closet gay ex experiencing them moving on quickly or in an unreal way? I feel so crazy. 
I've read that closeted gay men will stop at nothing to continue living a lie, but i'm really shocked. Im questioning everything from day 1. 
 

 

November 5, 2017 12:02 am  #2


Re: Next Steps

workingthru wrote:

I've read that closeted gay men will stop at nothing to continue living a lie, 

...until they're ready to come out. What you need to remind yourself of is that they have known the truth for years or decades and had lots of time to process their feelings here. From what I've read here, something often triggers their move such as the loss of parents or perhaps meeting the gay love of their life. We find it hard to understand how they can suddenly abandon their past life on what seems like a whim but that is because we only just found out it wasn't really authentic. We still need to process the shock and the hurt before we can move on. Please be kind to yourself.


“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
 

November 5, 2017 1:42 pm  #3


Re: Next Steps

Thank you, Daryl - this group has been so helpful in the mental war I've been going through. So appreciate your feedback

     Thread Starter
 

November 7, 2017 10:01 am  #4


Re: Next Steps

I was absolutely shocked by how quickly my ex changed her way of thinking and the way she treated me.  Blown away by her willingness to commit moral and ethical transgressions that I never imagined she would stoop so low to commit. 

Daryl said it right..  They have known for years.. their true selves were hidden under a blanket of lies and a false life.  They didn't just create this new person in a few days or weeks.. it was there all the time.  What they did was throw off the blanket and start living their true reality.   That can be accomplished immediately. 


 


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

November 7, 2017 12:15 pm  #5


Re: Next Steps

thank you for sharing, Phoenix. It's the injustice of it all that gets me. A lack of moral compass - you nailed it.  I didn't know people were this awful. My situation is so new - so it's shocking/sad to me people are in the closet in 2017. I guess the only thing to remember is perhaps they won't have authentic relationships until the are who they are. Everyone in their path is a victim. 

     Thread Starter
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum