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Mon May 22 2:50 pm  #31


Re: porn addiction he says

It's just another example of gaslighting. If he watches straight porn then we can use the same argument, you're only watching it because you conditioned yourself to I'd so a-ha you're really gay - they would dispute that yet it's exactly in keeping with their logic. These are the type of convoluted arguments a straight partner is used to having, its so tiresome.

 

Mon May 22 3:14 pm  #32


Re: porn addiction he says

You have every right to bow out of the relationship based on past breech of trust.  They will have you think that you somehow owe it to them to support them through this journey - that they had the problem, and you're leaving them amidst them trying to save the marriage.  It's NOT diabetes.  They were in control of their actions, even if they couldn't control who they were attracted to.  You do not owe it to them to trust them if they've shown you that you likely never could fully trust them again.

You do not owe it to them to stay with them when they've betrayed you, lied to you, cheated on you, gas lighted you, abused you.

Kel


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
 

Mon May 22 3:19 pm  #33


Re: porn addiction he says

Stonehouse,

Don't worry about "intruding" here.  This forum - in my opinion - is like an open house for those dealing with gay spouse issues.  You don't have to be introduced, you don't have to have the floor.  It's just all of us walking around, talking about different subjects under the same umbrella.  The amount of voices here alone is valuable.  It shows the reader that they are not alone.  And that their situation is not unique.  There's practically a formula.  The more st8 spouse voices, the better.  We all bring different things to the table, too - some bring compassion, some ideas, some maybe a single line that inspires or speaks to a singular reader.  And that's enough.  Then there's those who are mouthy and obnoxious (yours truly).  We need ALL the voices to make this a good place for everyone.  Don't go sticking your head back in anymore.  Just jump in wherever you feel the desire to do so.  You are not a visitor - you are part of this family. 

Kel


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
 

Mon May 22 3:42 pm  #34


Re: porn addiction he says

I agree entirely, Kel is right, I so value everybody's words. Please don't think we don't wan to hear your view, take, thoughts on these issues. We're all struggling to understand, the experiences of others really help.

 

Tue May 23 2:28 am  #35


Re: porn addiction he says

Kel, I'm so glad you said that about us all walking around under the same umbrella.

I sometimes struggle with posting .......or rather what I'm posting, I over analysis it wondering if I'll offend someone or if someone will come back and argue with what I've said. I think the situation we find ourselves in has left a lot of us doubting ourselves, our opinions and views.

So Kel that comment has given me the confidence to feel someone may find some comfort in the odd thing I say (and in fact some have and some have actually agreed with me but I still read and re read what I'm writing before hitting Submit!!) And I've just done it again with this post!!! Oh for God's sake woman just hit Submit!!! ;-)
 


Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves
 

Tue May 23 7:30 pm  #36


Re: porn addiction he says

Someone mentioned earlier a 'type' of man they are attracted to...
I think mine is attracted to anything. The suspect man in the 'stall' was probably 80. It was so gross.
 

 

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