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Sat Apr 8 11:59 pm  #11


Re: Why am I still in denial?

I haven't snooped for two days since I found the contact info and a call from a man who appears to be gay. I asked my husband if he called about the utilities for this business he wants to buy, thinking the guy had to do with that, and he said no.  I'll probably check his phone again in a few days but it doesn't feel obsessive now.
I'm more focused on me.  Fixing what's broken. Making money.  Losing weight.  If I ever find another man to love I won't be settling ever again.  Today I made a comment about noticing more fine lines on my face (I'm 51 but people say I look 40, which makes me smile) and he said "well IF you lose your weight, it's just going to look worse".  Wow.  Thanks!!!  Also he said "do what you want" when I said I might consider a tummy tuck someday.  I have some excess skin after four big babies, and it bothers me. A lot. 
I am really over this whole thing. His treatment of me is deplorable and then he wants to hold my hand or hug me. What is that????

 

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