OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



March 11, 2017 10:59 am  #1


Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

Deleted

Last edited by jkpeace (April 13, 2017 6:45 pm)

 

March 11, 2017 12:29 pm  #2


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

I baked a divorce cake and shared it with friends who'd supported me through this. Lemon boxed cake mix; ready-made lemon frosting and a souvenir Statue of Liberty on top. I think the most expensive thing probably was shipping for the topper. When life gives you lemons make lemon cake.

One of my friends took photos and at Christmas I shared one as my significant event in the past year.


Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 

March 11, 2017 1:28 pm  #3


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

My divorce will most likely final sometime in April.. I am having all the women friends who have been helping me through this mess come to my house for a celebration.. We will have food, drinks and desserts! I am then going to have a fire built in my back yard and all my friends will help me burn all the letters, journals,pictures and momentos that remind me of this "rats ass",I am planning it for a night the moon is full. We will laugh, cry and celebrate my new beginning.

 

March 11, 2017 3:08 pm  #4


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

jkpeace, JenS, Abby and Sunflower:  If you can afford to do it, even a daytrip somewhere close to home either alone or with your kids (if you have them) is fantastic.  Check with your local library:  In Michigan, we have MAP (Michigan Activity Passes) which can be checked out and offer free admission to all sorts of wonderful attractions, museums, state parks, etc.  See if you have them where you live...a library is a fantastic source for free things you didn't even know existed!    Also, something about driving away from home always made things great for me (still does).  

 


“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely of places.”
 

March 11, 2017 4:54 pm  #5


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

I never thought of it as something to celebrate outright with the kids unless they are ok with it.   Definitely do something with them if they are.

#1 on your list seems important in time.

I had met my family for dinner.. before heading home to the person I just divorced.  Of course when I got home the girlfriend was there.    Those were good times.

 I'm actually smiling now just thinking how I don't have to live like that anymore.

We'll party here for you.  I'll have a drink that day in your honor.

Last edited by Rob (March 11, 2017 4:55 pm)


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

March 11, 2017 6:27 pm  #6


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

I like Rob's idea.  Virtual raising of a glass, or lighting of a candle for those that don't drink.    March 21 it is!  


“Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely of places.”
 

March 12, 2017 8:32 am  #7


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

 JK, March 21 (or 20) is spring equinox, too, and you'll be starting a new and hopeful season in your life.  

 

March 13, 2017 7:27 am  #8


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

How about it being a salute to the past and a heads up to new beginnings jkpeace?!

That's only next week.....I'm waiting to hear my date too, I'd never thought of what to do or how to commemorate it, you've got me thinking now. I like the idea of a night for gathering all your sanity keepers around and saluting them and perhaps celebrating their super support.

I've started changing my name already, passport's back in maiden name, working on driving licence, bank accounts etc need to wait for divorce decree. I also got a new car, just Saturday, in my own maiden name too, my last two have been in my married name, for me I felt it was the car was the last "leftover" from the past.

I'll definitely raise a glass to you on 21st - totally unrelated - that date's World Down Syndrome Day - I have a magnificent little lady in my life who has Downs, please excuse my mention, the date just pops out at me!

I'll be interested in hearing how you're feeling in the lead up to such a significant step in your life - take care xx


Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves
 

March 26, 2017 7:30 pm  #9


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

Do something just for you that day and then maybe later with the kids. Make a special dinner, and special dessert sounds like a great idea. If the day is a workday, then maybe get a book you've wanted to read for along time, and a bottle of wine to enjoy once the kids are in bed. Light a few candles, just sit and enjoy the sunset that day, the peace and quiet. The next morning will be a new beginning, a new start to a new life. This will give you the chance to reflect. Go for a short drive or to a nearby park and just enjoy yourself, grab an ice cream cone and sit in the part and enjoy it. You're first outing as a single women again. 

Just a heads up for those where money is tight, most libraries now offer digital ebooks through the overdrive app. All you need is a local library card and to download the app. Just do a google search for overdrive and see if your local library participates. No muss, no fuss. I've been using this for the past year and it's great. 

You could also join the website. Goodreads.com and sign up to do the good reads challenge. I'm doing this right now.  This would be something just for you. If you like to read. Hope these are helpful. 



 

 

March 27, 2017 2:40 am  #10


Re: Divorce Date: Not celebrating...more just a time to reflect

Oh no JK, that's awful to hear he's becoming more unstable - I hope it's just a reaction to the divorce being final and things settle shortly!

I'm so sorry you find yourself in the middle of such craziness.

We're all asking ourselves how we married such narcissistic deluded men (& women).

My STBX obviously accidentally face timed me last night, it rang for awhile before I noticed (on silent) and it takes a while to connect so all this time my name appeared on his screen (computer, not phone so big enough not to  miss you'd think) when it connected and we saw each other I said "HI" and he hung up, no hi, sorry wrong number no nothing just plan and simple hung up. No follow up text apologising it was an error - this same fool still says to others that he hopes we'll be able to be friends some day (only after I'm able to accept more portion of blame for this happening though!!!!!!!!!!!) You're not alone in your never ending craziness.

I keep telling myself it could be worse - I could still be in the marriage being fooled and deceived and used - this HAS to be better than that! Peace to you JK!!


Sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum