I would just like to say thank you to the members of this group. 

A few days ago, I went back through some of my post history. The mind fuck started for me in 2020. It's hard to believe I only found out I was trapped in his closet for 4 years....because it feels like a lifetime. 

This is such a unique (and ridiculously screwed up) situation to find oneself in. And, sadly, there is a real lack of support or empathy for a straight partner that has to cope with the after math. I reached some very scary lows during this process, and it has been an incredibly difficult journey (and I know it's still far from over). 

I will say, the divorce process thus far has really highlighted how this situation moves beyond just someone deciding they're gay. It's the lies, manipulation, deceit, selfishness, and all the added layers that bury you in the quick sand that is the mind fuck.

My spouse came out as bisexual at first. I did everything in my power to support him, while trying to set up my own boundaries and protect myself. Ironically, the only thing I ever really asked for was for him to just be honest with me. To give me enough dignity and respect to treat me like a partner, and the woman he was married to for 18 years deserves. 

Spoiler alert: he was too much of a coward and pathetic excuse of a human being to do anything remotely kind or empathetic in this process and just liked to scream at me about all the ways he was struggling, hurting, and blamed me for everything.

Over the years, I have seen so many of the stories. Many having the same shocking similarities. I feel like those who wind up on this forum are dealing with a whole other level of trauma and betrayal. Which is why I am still happy to see that the forum itself has done it's best to remain a safe space for the straight spouse. And why I appreciate all those regulars on here who continue to help the poor beleaguered souls that find themselves here.

Looking back....if I had only found information and forums on successful MOM, or followed all the crap on google....I don't know if I would have survived this. If I had not seen others blind sided by the same script my former male co-inhabitor was using on me, I would have ended up in a way worse situation, emotionally, psychologically and financially. 

As much as I didn't want to hear a lot of it....it had to be said, I had to listen, and I had to drag myself through.