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January 10, 2019 6:28 pm  #1


Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

After 44 years of marriage, it took less than 5 minutes to be granted a divorce in the State of Florida, simplified divorce. It is such a sad day for me, and my heart is broken. It was exactly one year ago I discovered TGT, my X is still  in denial and remains in his closet. We tried a 3 month separation, then I moved back in, we are still living in the same home but different bedrooms. I still love him, I always saw the good in him, I thought we had the perfect marriage, we were "best friends," and then TGT.  I knew, however, once I discovered TGT my marriage was over, and I snooped for the past year, and the evidence was overwhelming.

So I made a decision I had to think with my head, not my heart. I wanted to proceed with a divorce and I had to protect my financial interests. I knew where every penny of our assets were, and I spoke with 2 attorneys. But I decided my best plan of action was to remain on the best terms I could with my husband, and we came to terms regarding our finances. I basically got what I wanted. He would of gotten half of my pension if we had attorneys, and when he mentioned my pension, I told him under no circumstances would I share my pension with him and if he wanted to share his dirty laundry in court, go ahead. He backed off. Now he is still in the home, but moving out in April.

It is a relief I no longer have to put any of my energy and time in worrying about the divorce or getting my fair share. But now, the pain and overwhelming sadness is unbearable. I love him, but everytime I look at him, I see a gay man. 

So I am doing my best to focus on me, I just booked myself on a cruise, trying to establish a single life. I have no desire to find another man or date. I just want to be happy. So that is my focus.....happiness. Wish me luck.

 

 

January 10, 2019 7:45 pm  #2


Re: Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

   A hugely important step, but yes, it's a painful necessity, and one we would have preferred not to have to take.  
  
   Best to you as you begin your single life.  I'll say to you what my lawyer said to me: "You're going to have great life and you're going to be happy."  
 
  Here's wishing you both luck and happiness.

 

January 10, 2019 8:22 pm  #3


Re: Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

Congratulations on making it through to the other side.I wish you luck and happiness will follow. Enjoy your new life!


Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 

January 10, 2019 9:03 pm  #4


Re: Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

Violated wrote:

After 44 years of marriage, it took less than 5 minutes to be granted a divorce in the State of Florida...
 

 

I wish you all the luck in the world

Elle
 


*no longer between a rock and a hard place*
 

January 10, 2019 10:49 pm  #5


Re: Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

violated,

Good for you...  a cruise and self care.... sounds great.      

When my GX moved out we had already had a toxic house with the divorce.    I first felt an immediate sense of relief and safety....no one raging at me.  no need to wonder if her girlfriend and drugs would be in my home.   I felt physically better.

Walk forward into your new adventure.
 


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

January 11, 2019 9:38 am  #6


Re: Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

Great to hear an update from you and congratulations! You made it! I've been dreaming about the moment you are in now for a while. I am sure it is difficult, but I love that you've booked a cruise. Relax, let go, and know in that moment you are taking care of someone who loves and appreciates you--YOU! I've learned so much from your journey--thank you for sharing it!

 

January 12, 2019 4:41 am  #7


Re: Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

Congratulations and Good luck @Violated.  @Estella  YES, I feel like that realization has taken soo long.  I deserve to be happy and not let my divorce destroy me, though it seems to have destroyed so much else in my life...I think the dreams and the hopes just are haunting me lately.  I was expecting such a different life for so long and held on too long for sure.  
 

 

January 12, 2019 8:17 am  #8


Re: Today was D Day, I am officially Divorced

Leah, I'm going to quote someone's wise words I recently read (that would be MMartin writing on another thread): "Let’s revisit our past with compassion for ourselves, and why not, trusting our younger self. That is what you did and is Ok" -- You do deserve to be happy and define that happiness as you will and work toward it as you want and in your own time. Sending you some virtual hugs (you, too, Violated! That cruise is going to ROCK!)

 

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