2Naive
   Thank you for this: "This monster blow goes far beyond the stages of a natural grieving process one goes through with in a divorce or death of a spouse. Maybe just knowing that this is a stage you are in now will help. Give yourself lots of time, take it one day at a time, and know there will be some days better than others."
    It bears emphasizing for everyone at whatever stage we're at, and today I needed that reminder. 
 

Zoso wrote:

I really thought she was the one., I still do. I don’t know. My heart aches I really want to stay together maybe separate bedrooms in the future? Could we have what we once had? No,maybe, possibly. I am 51 there is no way I could find love like this again. Our whole life together, is it really gone? Am I a fool to hold out hope?

I just want everything to go back to the way I thought it was in Sunday. Sound stupid, but right now I can’t see past tomorrow. We had plans for our future, talked about hen regularly with excitement. Now BOOM, darkness.

Zoso,

Your words and feelings are so similar to my experience right now.  My wife told me she was gay three weeks ago, and I can tell you that the first week was almost unbearable. You say you can’t see past tomorrow and I know exactly what you mean. My wife is the lov if my life and I don’t want to lose her either. It’s an increadibly sad thought.

Take each day. Talk to her about your feelings, and don’t let negativity plague you. Talk to someone or write it out in a journal. It’s incredibly helpful.

It’ll get better. Just breathe.

J

Zoso wrote:

My wife told me she thinks she is gay. I don’t want to separate, I don’t want anyone else, but she wants to follow her feelings, which she said returned about 2 years ago. She thought they were just temporary.

This is a tough place to be in. My wife was sure by the time she told me, which is increadibly difficult, but it makes the decision about what to do easier. For you, having her thinking they might be temporary or “thinking” she is gay can serve to drag out the process of coming to terms with losing her.  I’m so sorry. It is a horrendous feeling of loss and it feels like your life is falling apart, but if you read many of the other stories on here, you will see that living with someone who is not true to themselves can be its own torture.  Give her the opportunity to discover the truth, as it will only free you sooner.

Like I said in an earlier post, I’m going through so much of the same things you are right now, maybe a couple weeks ahead of you, and it does get better.  The intensity of the anxiety and fear diminish as you deal with the truth.  Take it one day and one emotion at a time.

Use your love for her to guide you in letting her be her true self.  Take the high road whenever you can, and KNOW that things will get better.

J

Our daughter is 10. I have no idea how we are going to tell her. She is a strong girl, but I don’t know how she will react. I have a son who was the same age when my first marriage ended. I was divorced from my first wife who was unfaithful. Telling my children  thrn was easier than this will be, if that makes sense. My sense of loss this time is very different. We were and still are best friends, we spend so much time together, it’s like I am losing part of myself.

We still sleep and the same bed, not wanting to give any indication to our daughter that some thing is different.I still lay close to her and put my arm around her. I asked her if it makes her uncomfortable and she said no. Am I prolonging my suffering? If so, I don’t think I care.