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November 9, 2018 1:31 pm  #1


my divorce is final

A short update:
   I went to court this morning for my divorce hearing from my crossdressing, closeted autogynephilic husband.  I initiated the divorce, and at my request, he stayed away from court, but I got teary anyway when asked whether the marriage was irretrievably broken and there was no chance for reconciliation--because it was, and there isn't.  Thirty-six years of marriage, forty-four of being involved with him.
   I still have a difficult time understanding how he could choose to live a closeted life, with no one to share it with.  But his choices and decisions, and the consequences for them, are his to bear alone now.  Personally, I plan to make smarter choices and better decisions that the ones I made when I decided to participate and accommodate in the name of saving my marriage. 
   Live and learn.  

 

November 9, 2018 1:40 pm  #2


Re: my divorce is final

I’m so bloody proud of you my friend. I know it’s been so very hard but you did yourself proud. I can’t wish you enough happiness moving forward.

 

November 9, 2018 1:57 pm  #3


Re: my divorce is final

I remember my divorce going final as a bittersweet day.  It needed to happen, but there was still some hurts associated with it. 

I'm glad for you OOHC.  Congratulations on this big event.  Cheers to better things in the future. 


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

November 9, 2018 4:08 pm  #4


Re: my divorce is final

Best wishes for the future OOHC

xx


KIA KAHA                       
 

November 9, 2018 5:25 pm  #5


Re: my divorce is final

 

Last edited by Lynne (February 3, 2019 12:14 pm)

 

November 10, 2018 2:31 am  #6


Re: my divorce is final

Oohc,

Sincere best wishes on your escape from the closet.  It is pomp and circumstance...these spouses knew long ago what they were doing was wrong and hurtful...and they chose..they chose to hurt us anyway.   

Walk forward..held held high..face in the wind..


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

November 10, 2018 7:09 am  #7


Re: my divorce is final

Thanks all, for your good wishes, as well as your support now and over the two years I've been posting here, trying to figure it all out. Without your perspectives and experiences, the lessons you learned and imparted, I would still be flailing, suffocating in a marriage that was slowly killing me, and still finding excuses for a man who perfectly fine with sacrificing me to his closet and his desires. I love the way you put it, Rob: "escape from the closet."  Onto the next phase of the journey, and of life. I'll keep your insights and examples in front of me as move forward, and hope, Phoenix, to find, as you have, love among the ashes. 

     Thread Starter
 

November 10, 2018 9:50 am  #8


Re: my divorce is final

Congratulations on officially starting this new chapter in your life. May it be filled with joy, peace, love, and anything else your heart desires.

 

November 10, 2018 10:40 am  #9


Re: my divorce is final

   I feel rather like I've had removed a large cancerous tumor, or a gangrenous limb has been chopped off--some chronic condition that worsened over time and which I watched, horrified yet fascinated, but became accustomed to seeing and feeling, and now is gone.  Except the mind is still processing it as if it's still there, and there's constant surprise, and a little disbelief, that it's gone, the eye filling in the absence and the nerves still tingling. 

    In other words, the next phase of uncoupling after so many years married.  Every one of these phases comes with its own challenges, doesn't it?

  I hope for you all the same happiness you've wished for me. 

  

Last edited by OutofHisCloset (November 10, 2018 10:41 am)

     Thread Starter
 

November 10, 2018 11:26 am  #10


Re: my divorce is final

Hi OutofHisCloset, 

I have followed your journey since you joined the forum.   I know how incredibly difficult it is to extricate ourselves from these long and unhealthy marriages.   I wish you all the best in your new life!   The psychologically treacherous part is behind you and so, while there will be challenges with your new life, you will know that you can handle them just fine using your newly acquired strength and self-knowledge.   Eyes now on the road ahead;  leaving him behind until he is a distant speck in your rear view mirror!

Best,

Jen

 

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