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May 19, 2018 5:46 pm  #1


Where's our fairy tale ending?

Seeing all the coverage today on tv and on FB on the royal wedding, made me think how lucky some truly are. I knew I would ever have that perfect fairy tale life but I never thought in a million years that I would be where I'm at right now. I didn't get married until I was 34. Now I'll be 58 on Friday and I have to think how will I have to start my life over again. It really sucks. 


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
 
 

May 19, 2018 9:57 pm  #2


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

Roo, it does suck. I thought I had that kind of love, but now, I know the truth. My marriage was a fraud. Trying to build  a new life, I can accept the fact I probably will never find true love at my age of 64, But I just want my happiness.

 

May 19, 2018 11:00 pm  #3


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

Roo wrote:

....I'll be 58 on Friday....

 

I'll be 60 on the 24th. This is not how I thought my life would be either.
The memory of the last 32 birthdays....feel empty of promise & meaning
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

May 20, 2018 6:51 am  #4


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

Prince Harry wasn't married before but his bride was. Unlike the fairy tales both had dated others and lived together before marriage. I don't know about others here but coming from a religious background where virginity was expected at marriage I was the perfect candidate for a gay man to woo. Perhaps with more experience I would have spotted red flags early on and would not have been around to accept his proposal..

Prince Charles married a virgin bride and one significantly younger but we know how that ended. Modern western women don't take it well when the husband has side action - male or female or any other variety.

My fairy tale ended when my fairy left. 


Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 

May 20, 2018 7:01 am  #5


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

Hey guys...I woke up to the royal wedding on TV also..  Its interesting though...I find myself watching that and the hallmark channel...because they are heterosexual relationships.

My GX used her best skill and pasttime ...hurting me.. to deny me real fierce authentic love. Its a cruel thing no doubt but I thank God for getting me away from someone with such morals.   We thank God for the happy times with them and we thank God for taking us away from the them.

No one knows what the future holds for all these fairy tale weddings..I wish them well and pray they don't have to go through what we did.  I think God sees the fierce absolute love we gave and I think there other people out there more deserving of it now..the first being ourselves.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

May 20, 2018 2:08 pm  #6


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

Why did I just read yet another email from him?  I'm so angry.  Especially reading " I used to like to take care of you, but now I have to think and take care of myself too."   If he thinks that he's coming out ahead in this divorce he will be terribly sorry.  I will out him, his partner and the GF he had for 2.5 years.   The last thing I thought I'd be worried about at this age is how I'm going to support myself. 


WTF
 

June 6, 2018 11:12 am  #7


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

I got my fairytale ending - just not with the gay ex.  It turns out that everything I went through in life up until meeting my current husband was necessary to build me into the person I needed to be to have a happy marriage the second time around.  I not only know how to spot issues that need to be fixed now (vs. ones that I just need to tolerate), but I appreciate everything I have now compared to what I had before.  I'm convinced that had I met my current dh years earlier - before I'd met my exgh, our marriage wouldn't be the powerhouse it is today.

Your fairytale might still be out there.  Entirely possible.

Kel


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
 

June 6, 2018 11:42 am  #8


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

The point I'm at now, I can't see that ever happening. I feel so stuck and just can't seem to move forward.
I am happy that you found your happy ending. I wish that for all of us.


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
 
     Thread Starter
 

June 6, 2018 2:20 pm  #9


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

All I can say is that I was once where you are.  I was unhappy for over 10 years of my 16-year marriage.  I knew that my extended family wouldn't support me "ripping my family apart".  I didn't think anyone would ever be interested in me with all my baggage.  Not just the baggage of the gay thing, but being a middle-aged, overweight woman with physical limitations (really bad knees), three young kids (one of whom is mentally unbalanced), an ex who isn't much of a father to his kids, and no assets but plenty of debt.  It didn't seem hopeful.  But it worked out, miraculously.  I swear to you that if I could find this, anyone can.  I'm no prize. And I still hit the happily-ever-after lotto anyway.

You will never get somewhere else without unsticking yourself from where you currently are.  And that is made of many little, tiny steps.  Just keep doing them, and eventually you'll be out of the woods.  I swear it.

Kel

Last edited by Kel (June 6, 2018 2:22 pm)


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
 

June 6, 2018 3:43 pm  #10


Re: Where's our fairy tale ending?

Kel wrote:
["You will never get somewhere else without unsticking yourself from where you currently are.  And that is made of many little, tiny steps.  Just keep doing them, and eventually you'll be out of the woods.  I swear it"].

Kel, I love this paragraph of yours. You put a big smile on my face. Thanks

 

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