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1 of 1- Count of Monte Cristo
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Update and Thoughts
Had a big talk with her last night. Over the phone of course. It went ok, but too much happening. A deal fell through on the first house. She blames the agent and so on. My parents and soon myself will be working on that house, and she wants to raise the price of it and change the agents. So my family is working on the deck and so on while she takes the kids camping with friends and so on and she wants more money out if it. Nice! I opened up a bit, and she made a comment how if we went through counselling 5 years ago thinks would be different. What a joke! She is upset that my family won't talk to her. Well no kidding. I haven't been rude or mean or anything. She also made a comment how she put me through a miserable 12 months, but I put her through a miserable 11 years! Nice! We never really even had a fight! Once again playing mind games and so on. Crying because she only earns $30,000 a year and so on. What a joke. Go keep trying to hurt someone else please. I am straight and have lived a true life. Not a façade. We moved because she couldn't be herself in our old community. I understand how hurt she is, but come on. Not my fault at all. I haven't seen her in months still. Does that help.
- lily
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Re: Update and Thoughts
Hi Count, you gotta love that one - you put her through 11 years of misery? wow! It's amazing - blame deflect minimise blame devalue and oh did I mention the blame you for everything and anything? I wouldn't believe it except I lived through it myself and I wouldn't believe myself if I didn't read other people's stories and they are the same.
My ex always used to blame me for being too emotional. And I believed him! Then I saw him crying over money when we were splitting up and I saw real emotion, just like me or anyone else. I hadn't realised what an actor he was.
Just wanted to say hang in there you are doing great - right now you are in the toughest part, before the financial separation is signed off on. It will get a lot better and you will have a lot more room to heal once that is over.
all the best, Lily
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: Update and Thoughts
Female version of entitled! She sounds like Rob's wife, who wanted him to finance her new lesbian life.
- Count of Monte Cristo
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Re: Update and Thoughts
Doing ok really. Back up to 205lbs. I am 6'2" so that works well. The gym and tennis and biking. A sudden heat wave has hit and it is toasty for here this time of the year. 32C or 85F. Sleeping in 4/5 beds. Work is at its busiest here in fisheries with lake stockings and so on. It is going to take me some time to really get over this. I have a woman that is after me! Nice to be wanted like that. She just can't believe it and says how it doesn't make sense. Yes. I wouldn't believe these stories either. I got to and get to live it. So fun! Time for the first house to sell and so on. Time to move on as best as possible.
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Thread Starter- phoenix
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Re: Update and Thoughts
It must feel good to have a woman desire you. I would welcome that as well.
I will caution you though to guard your heart and take that very slowly. It's hard to imagine a person being healthy and ready for a real relationship so soon after the trauma that you are still going through. While we all want to replace the lost love, you should focus on healing yourself fully before you start a new relationship so that you will be ready to love again. Furthermore, if you give your heart away and it doesn't work out, the hurt of this breakup on top of the trauma you are currently recovering from can be extremely hard and plunge you back into a depression. So.. i'm very happy for you, but out of concern I want to offer you some advice and warning. Go slowly and be careful!
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- Rob
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Re: Update and Thoughts
."she also made a comment how she put me through a miserable 12 months, but I put her through a miserable 11 years! .."
Yeah I got a similar comment ..something like she had given me year... normal person translation; I decided/debated to cheat on you with a woman a year ago. Apparently I was under some probation and I was supposed to have changed/grew new body parts in that time?
The stories we could tell of their entitlement and crazy view of reality. Good for you for ignoring the comments. The only thing you did wrong is to try to talk to her again like a normal person. I get the comments also when we make contact.. they cannot keep on topic and throw in put downs and comments ...to me its their dirty conscious. NO CONTACT is best.
NIce to have a woman chasing you.. can you tell if she's a narcissist ?
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Count of Monte Cristo
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Re: Update and Thoughts
Thanks all. Great advice. I am far from ready to put my heart It there. Believe me I am still going through too much. Is she a narssacist? No. The daily challenge of sharing a house is getting old. While never here together the reminder through clothes and so on needs to be done with. Oh I am so beyond busy. Fun, but I need a little break. Off to work on house number 1 all weekend too! Wild!
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Thread Starter- Scrupulous
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Re: Update and Thoughts
"Off to" means forward Monte. Good for you. You are moving in the right direction toward your life (which includes those dear to you) but not the former one with a person that obviously consumed you in a negative way.
Cheers :' }
Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face.