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May 6, 2018 6:00 pm  #1


25 Years Of Marriage, 125 Days Of Crying

Does anyone know the extent and type of emotional damages that are caused by these evil spouses?   I know that everyone is different and some people are stronger than others, but in general, most of our stories have the same theme.  Obviously future trust issues are going to be a problem but has anyone experienced any specific different kinds of problems?    I'm starting to get nightmares.   

 


WTF
 

May 6, 2018 6:20 pm  #2


Re: 25 Years Of Marriage, 125 Days Of Crying

It's major Kathy but not permanent...
The best thing is that we manage to grow stronger. I'm sure you've heard the phrase.."That which doesn't kill us.." We grow with the help of others around us willing to lift a hand and of course God has been my rock in helping me in every aspect. Things may get worse before they get better,. But trust me they always get better! Think of this..
Just when you've been punched to your lowest level and stomped to the ground, there's other things that haven't put you all the way down! We still get up because WE CAN!!!
And like fighters we keep on but at some point....we realize this point...We don't have to fight the same person that knocks us down all the time. We have the choice to walk away. That's when we become stronger. 
Girl you can do this!


Life is like phases of the moon.... We really only see it when it's beautiful, full and in our face. 
 

May 6, 2018 9:03 pm  #3


Re: 25 Years Of Marriage, 125 Days Of Crying

Deleted.

Last edited by Lynne (October 3, 2020 7:03 pm)

 

May 7, 2018 3:17 am  #4


Re: 25 Years Of Marriage, 125 Days Of Crying

I've had nightmares too. Also my menopause symptoms, that were fading are now back with a vengeance. I suppose its my bodys way of letting things out so to speak. 

 

May 7, 2018 10:33 pm  #5


Re: 25 Years Of Marriage, 125 Days Of Crying

Thanks to all!  YOUTUBE Clips Of??  What should I search for?  I've read most of the books and they were very helpful,  NOTHING has been as helpful as THIS SITE!!!!  It's given me the strength to go to the lawyer and his deadline is June 1st.  OR ELSE!  This may seem cruel but I haven't worked in 3 years.  I'm demanding that he pay for my lawyer or I'll pull him out of the closet.  Considering a month ago I was crying for him to come home, I've come a long way.  Because reading all of these stories tells me this will be a never ending story of heartache and deceit.  I need to protect myself.  I do feel a little bad for doing it.  That could be from the co-dependence and guilt trips he's laid on me for 25 years. 

This will get even tougher next month but I'm going to be reading stories on this site every single night.  My therapist was quite impressed with the knowledge I've gained here as she'd never heard of it before.  E-HUGS and KISSES!

YES.  THAT LINK! Wow I had just about all of that happen except the aversion

 

Last edited by Kathyd (May 7, 2018 11:07 pm)


WTF
     Thread Starter
 

May 8, 2018 6:18 am  #6


Re: 25 Years Of Marriage, 125 Days Of Crying

Kathy,

You asked about lingering issues.. nightmares,,, yes I sometime have unrealistic PTSD  even though Im away from this for several years now.   One book I read ; Back to Life;  http://www.aliciasalzer.com/     was  a good read about dealing with the trauma .     I recommend the Katie Morton YouTube Video as well as the Meredith Miller Inner Integration ones.    The narcissism survivor ones you saw..     For me, don't laugh, perhaps it was just seeing normal people telling how a normal person should be treated in a normal relationship;  since I came to learn my marriage was far from normal.   
   
I'm doing ok..  so much better.. and things can only get better. and better.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

May 8, 2018 5:50 pm  #7


Re: 25 Years Of Marriage, 125 Days Of Crying

I claw at my scalp at night when I'm half-asleep and don't have the impulse control to stop.  I wake up sometimes and find scratch marks on my shoulders and neck, too, and I find spots of blood on the pillowcase.

I've tried to find some kind of calming mantra to focus on at night, but these fits happen when I'm half-asleep.  Sometimes I wake up and stop myself, but sometimes I just realize in the morning I must have been at it again.  I know it's stress.

 

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