OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



February 19, 2018 11:35 am  #1


I filed for divorce

...but I am being a coward and not serving him the papers. Im so scared. Im so tired. Im still having those weak moments that pull me back to him. He is begging me to stay and work this out. He swears, he knows he "will be loyal to me forever." Can i believe that? (He is Bi/autogenephile) Half of me wants to because he is my best friend, we have 2 kids, a house and 9 years of marriage.

But I am already and have been attracted to other men now for a while. I lost a level of attraction to him that I cant get back. Ill never be that crazy in love with him like I used to be either. But that crazy passion is what I want in my life. So even if he has if for me...now I have lost it for him.

I am literally pulled apart. I wont be able to see my kids every day/night.. Its agonizing. Im tired of thinking about it, though it is relentlessly torturing my mind. I feel frozen with fear to make a choice.

I have prayed and meditated and asked for a sign. A clear sign that I could understand. Within a few days, I was driving to work really early, its dark..and an illuminated sign with words caught my eye, that never caught my eye before. And it had 2 messages for me, one on each side.

The first message I saw read:

"ITS OK TO BE AFRAID, BUT DONT LET FEAR STOP YOU."

And the second one read:

"LOVE IS NOT WHAT YOU SAY, LOVE IS WHAT YOU DO."


I am very spiritual and I believe it was exactly what I asked for.... A sign that I am making the right choice for me.

And even still I am doubtful to leave.

I must be crazy.

 

February 19, 2018 11:45 am  #2


Re: I filed for divorce

You are not crazy.  You are doing what is right.  You will be fine.   Congratulations on taking the first step to reclaim your future.  


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 

 
 

February 19, 2018 1:16 pm  #3


Re: I filed for divorce

Deleted.

Last edited by Lynne (October 3, 2020 6:44 pm)

 

February 19, 2018 1:20 pm  #4


Re: I filed for divorce

Tyurk

The filing is just a formality or inevitable step..pomp and circumstance.   These spouses cannot cheat and break their vows and expect no consequences.   What part of their wedding vows didn't they understand?  What gives them the right to hurt us and keep hurting us?   Or as I like to think about it..my GX divorced me long ago in a hotel room.  She chose.    It is not us not loving them..it is them rejecting us.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

February 19, 2018 1:38 pm  #5


Re: I filed for divorce

Deleted

Last edited by Duped (August 28, 2019 1:55 pm)

 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum