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February 9, 2018 6:12 pm  #1

Tips on Navigating the Divorce Process (GID Spouse)! U Can Do It!


Last edited by JenS (March 6, 2018 3:22 pm)


February 9, 2018 6:38 pm  #2

Re: Tips on Navigating the Divorce Process (GID Spouse)! U Can Do It!

Thank You Jen. I am at Step 13. You speak words of wisdom. I have been married 43 years.....

I wish you the very best.


February 9, 2018 8:47 pm  #3

Re: Tips on Navigating the Divorce Process (GID Spouse)! U Can Do It!

JenS - Excellent post, and you would have had to put a lot of time into writing it.  It should be very helpful to many.  I would add that when looking for a lawyer, look for one who does "family law" and divorces in particular on a routine basis.  Some lawyers whose main practice is in an area outside of family/divorce matters will often "throw in" a divorce or fill in their practice by doing a divorce here and there.  The problem with using those lawyers is that they are often learning on your dime.  They are usually not well versed in divorce and think they can do them, because they are pretty routine and relatively standardized.  That is not really the case and the ones experienced in family/divorce law can oftentimes save you both time and money.  They have seen everything and they are familiar with the way the court in your area works things, and also with the judges/commissioners that hear such cases.  In my state someone who does not do divorce law on a regular basis, has not necessarily ever even been in the court that hears divorces and they are not familiar with common practices and people in that court.  That can be very important to your case.

The other thing I would add is about Parental Alienation:  As JenS noted, be careful, no matter how tempted you might be, to not do or say anything that could be construed as alienating.  The other thing, though, is that you need to watch out that you do not become the alienated one!  These manipulative, selfish spouses, who do not want their secret out, will often blame you for the problems, make-up or negatively twist and exaggerate things you have said or done, and you become the villain.  They will tell those things to your children - yes your children - and it might well be believed.  They will also tell those things to lawyers, judges, and your friends and family.  Anything to keep hiding their secret and to make the divorce look like it is not their fault.  Watch out that you are not the targeted parent who winds up being alienated, by not just your children, but friends and family, and anyone your gay in denial spouse thinks he or she can manipulate into thinking the problems all stem from you.

Last edited by Lake Breeze (February 10, 2018 7:46 pm)

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" - Sir Walter Scott

February 10, 2018 7:06 pm  #4

Re: Tips on Navigating the Divorce Process (GID Spouse)! U Can Do It!


-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular. 


February 15, 2018 8:20 pm  #5

Re: Tips on Navigating the Divorce Process (GID Spouse)! U Can Do It!

Jen, thanks again for your kind response. I have always been a take action person, I hate being in limbo.....but I always need to pause.......but it is baby steps right now......


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