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February 9, 2018 8:55 am  #1

I'm finally fed up

Wife came out about 4 months ago.  It took me this long to realize that all of the things I've been reading on these posts also apply to my situation.  I never thought that she would lie, cheat, and be so selfish in her behavior.  I finally got fed up and got mad and let her know exactly how I feel now, I just want her gone.  Up until recently I still felt like I was married and still acted like it even though she had already moved on. Now I am done with her and would not take her back now even if she realized it was all a mistake (she hints that she is still "confused").  She knows, and has admitted, that her behavior is unacceptable and has put her own needs above everyone around her.  However, it seems like she just can't help it at this point and I don't think it will stop.  I only ever asked one thing, please don't date until you move out, I just can't watch that. I can't stay at home with the kids while you are out with someone else.  I didn't think that was asking too much.  Of course, she has put little effort into actually leaving the house and doesn't want to wait to start dating.  She said that it has already been 4 months and she "needs" to be able to explore.  It has also been 4 months for me too and I have done nothing to hurt her at all, I had only supported her at my own expense.  She thought she could have a perfect outcome where she comes out, everyone supports her (how brave she is for coming out), we are still best friends and we all have a happy ending.  But, all she does is hurt me, even if unintentionally.  So, I am finally fed up.  I feel naive. I didn't think all of the things you all have posted in this forum applied to me, boy I was wrong.


February 9, 2018 9:15 am  #2

Re: I'm finally fed up

Hi username1,
 Sorry you have to be here. When my XGW came out to me it seemed all she could think about was herself and her desires. She had years to think about it and I had hours. The pain was very real.

Be well,


February 9, 2018 10:23 am  #3

Re: I'm finally fed up

I'm so sorry, User1.  They just all seem to fit some sort of mold - I'm not sure why.  The good news is that you're "woke" now - you understand that you have more rights than to just be the good guy at home who lets her do what she wants at your expense.  Once you come to that place, you become empowered to make decisions that can take you on a path of healing, rather than sitting still and suffering with no way out.

We're here to listen.  Keep writing.


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

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