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Wed Jun 15 7:48 am  #1


Forum Jargon for Newbies

A lot of jargon and acronyms get used around here which you might find confusing so here’s a quick rundown of what some of it means.
 
STRAIGHT SPOUSE… This seems like an odd phrase when you first hear it but this forum is about mixed orientation relationships (MORs) or mixed orientation marriages (MOMs) where one spouse is heterosexual (the straight spouse) and the other is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex or Queer (LGBTIQ).
 
MOR... Mixed Orientation Relationship

MOM... Mixed Orientation Marriage

TGT.... ‘The Gay Thing’.  A shorthand way of referring to what we are going through ie. having a LGBTIQ spouse or partner.
 
LGBTIQ... Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer.  You might read about the ‘LGBTIQ community’

XH / XW... Ex Husband / Ex Wife

STBX... Soon To Be Ex. A divorce (or breakup) is in progress or is intended.

GH... Gay Husband  / BH... Bi Husband  / GW.... Gay Wife  / LW... Lesbian Wife

SO... Significant Other. Spouse or partner. .

GID... Gay In Denial. When a spouse or partner is LGBTIQ but denies it to themselves and/or to others.

TGID... Transgender In Denial.

FTM... Female to Male.

MTF... Male to Female.

TG/TS... Transgender / Transexual

CD... Cross-dresser / Cross-dressing

Acronyms are sometimes used in combination like -  STBXGIDH... Soon to be ex, Gay in denial husband. While sometimes confusing this kind of 'code' seems to be useful in quickly conveying a person's present situation. If you don't like acronyms please feel free not to use them.
 
SSA... Same Sex Attraction

STR8... Straight (heterosexual)

SSN... Straight Spouse Network

CL... Craig’s List – seems to be where some men do their cheating.
 
DL... Down Low... sex ‘on the down low’ is secret sex.

OP... Original Post or Original Poster (the person who started the thread).
 
 
A few key words and phrases used here...
 
DISTANCING – ‘Distancing’ is putting emotional and/or physical distance between you and your Ex as a means by which to protect yourself from further emotional harm.  Some common distancing strategies are seeing less of your ex; moving out; lowering your expectations; attempting to care less… doing whatever it takes to reduce emotional attachment.
 
COMPARTMENTALIZATION – A psychological defence mechanism which allows conflicting ideas to co-exist by inhibiting direct or explicit acknowledgement and interaction between separate compartmentalized states.  GID (Gay In Denial) men often ‘compartmentalize’ when they live two quite separate and distinct lives… one straight and one gay. They will barely acknowledge, and may even completely deny, that their ‘gay’ life exists.  They will often rationalize their gay activity as 'just sex' or 'purely physical'. They might still call themselves 'straight' and may not consider gay sex to be cheating. Some GID men will consciously or subconsciously take the position that it’s only possible to cheat on a woman with another woman. Men who do this sometimes believe their own lies.
 
GASLIGHTING - Named after the 1938 stage play 'Gas Light' and subsequent movies of the same name gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. Gaslighting might include denying that something was said, denying that something happened when there is clear evidence to the contrary, planting false or misleading information with a view to disorientate and claims that problems are imagined or ‘all in the head' of the gaslighting victim.
 
THE DIFFERENCE – A phrase coined to describe what many people experience when they have a real STRAIGHT relationship (and in particular real straight sex) for the first time or for the first time in a long time.  ‘The difference’ is being loved, desired, lusted after, appreciated and turned on... how sex was meant to be.   

Last edited by Steve (Tue Jul 11 11:12 pm)


You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 
 

Wed Jun 15 11:14 am  #2


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

NARCISSIST:
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. You may be generally unhappy and disappointed when you're not given the special favors or admiration you believe you deserve. Others may not enjoy being around you, and you may find your relationships unfulfilling.

TRIANGULATION:     When the gay narcissitc does not let you talk to another person so you may get together and compare notes about the gay person.

PROJECTION:   When the gay narcissist takes their feelings, insecurities, deeds and accuses you of the same acts.   ie..  you cheated,   you are evil.  you are gay also.

 

Last edited by Rob (Wed Jun 15 11:22 am)


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

Wed Jun 15 6:24 pm  #3


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

Sam - if you can "sticky" posts like this it would be awesome!
"The Script" as a sticky would be another good one if anyone has a copy.

 

Wed Jun 15 8:10 pm  #4


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

Done. 

 

Wed Jun 15 8:40 pm  #5


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

Great job, guys!  This would have been very helpful to me when I was a newbie and I know it will help many others.

 

Mon Aug 1 12:10 pm  #6


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

Thanks for this post. I had not heard of many of the acronyms before, they will be helpful in shortening my posts. As well as helping me identify my GIDXH.

Last edited by travelingsolo (Mon Aug 1 12:10 pm)

 

Thu Aug 11 10:38 am  #7


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

I was reading and article about college student housing in the news this morning and came across an Acronym I had not seen before:  "LGBTQQIAAP".   I googled the term and I am copying and pasting a definition here.  It has been in use for awhile and I am surprised I have not noticed it before.  I find LGBTQ catchier, but I suppose it is not all encompassing.  Perhaps some day we will get an "S" in there for Str8.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Allies and Pansexual.Lesbian - Women that are only attracted to women.

Gay - Men that are only attracted to men. Gay can also be used to describe homosexual men and women.

Bisexual - A person that is attracted to both sexes.

Transgendered - A person that has/is transitioning to the opposite sex, as they were born as the wrong sex/in the wrong body. (Female to male. Male to female).

Queer - A person that does not want to label themselves as, e.g. Lesbian, so they call themselves queer instead.

Questioning - Someone that is questioning their sexual orientation, unsure which gender/s they are attracted to.

Intersex - A hermaphrodite.

Asexual - A person that isn't sexually attracted to either gender.

Allies - A straight person that supports the LGBT(QQIAAP) community.

Pansexual - A person that is attracted to a person because of their personality. They do not care what gender they date, they care about what is on the inside.

All of these make up LGBTQQIAAP.

Last edited by WendiT (Thu Aug 11 10:42 am)


"No matter how hard the journey may be, remember to be kind to yourself..."
 

Wed Aug 17 12:28 am  #8


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

good work.

 

Mon Sep 12 12:13 pm  #9


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

This is very helpful thanks


Go not quietly into that great, good night......Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
 

Sat Sep 17 12:56 am  #10


Re: Forum Jargon for Newbies

This was helpful

 

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